Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
- what had happened just before?
I got really upset over the shitty day I'd had, and there was nothing there to distract me. - what were you thinking and feeling?
That I hated my life. I wished I could be someone, anyone else, who could be in another place or another time. Angry at my mom for putting me in such difficult positions and acting like such a child. - why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
Probably because T (boyfriend) wasn't around. Usually when I'm feeling upset I talk to him about something else and it takes my mind off of it. Knowing that he would be disappointed if I hurt myself is more incentive not to, but I sort of lost grip on that last night because I haven't talked to him in a few days. I suppose he still cares about me, but I just don't feel that he does right now. - how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I could have called T and left a message on his voicemail to call me back. He was at work when I reached that point of no return stage, but I think I might have been able to distract myself from it enough until he called me back. If he called me back.. I don't know if he would have. - were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
I had only gotten four hours of sleep the night before. It was my fault, I took some midol for cramps and it has caffeine in it so I wasn't able to fall asleep. - what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I sat around online for a bit and saw if anyone I could trust would come on... nobody did. Tried watching tv but nothing interested me. - in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
Calling someone... I can always call my ex, J (he knows about my problems), or just call a random friend just to talk. - name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
Maybe write phone numbers on my hand, or store them with my tools. - how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
It definitely isn't resolved. I'm a little bit angry with T for not calling me, it makes me feel like he doesn't care. I guess I could talk to him, but my family is encouraging me to keep as many of my problems from him as possible since they think it will cause him to dump me for a saner girl with a more normal family. So I don't think I'll talk with him about it. - are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Maybe. I don't know how I'll recognize it though. - what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
-Listening to music
-Going to sleep
About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
- What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
Because I knew it would help me feel better and that nobody would notice, or care. - Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
It was just there as a result of a bad day. - What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
Probably been gradually distracted by other people, or by going for a walk. - If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
Decreased. - What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
Being alone (or being able to be alone in a room), having the urge to, having nobody around that I can possibly IM or call. - If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
A little bit scared, but I would get over the urge.
