Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Working on it...see my post in the main forum. - what had happened just before?
I was sitting watching back to back episodes of Lost on my computer. - what were you thinking and feeling?
Nothing really. - why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
Nope. - how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
Don't know. just did it. - were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
It was late-ish at night and I'd just had coffee, so maybe? - what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
Crochetting, drinking coffee, calling my parents, watching TV... - in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?\
I should have just gone to bed. - name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
I don't know. - how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
I'm really ashamed. I'd been doing so well (well, several months without at least...) and now I've done it three days in a row for no real reason at all. That's not true. The first time (three days ago) was because I had gotten scolded at work for not looking professional enough. - are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
I don't really know what emotional place I was in. - what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
2. Going to sleep.
3. Coming on here.
About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
- What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
I'd just bought an "auto repair kit"--it had a sharp in it. - Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
I knew it had the sharp in it when I bought it. That's why I bought it. I could fool myself into thinking I was buying something useful instead of something destructive. - What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
I probably wouldn't even have had the urge if I hadn't had the sharp. - If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
Decreased. - What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
Having new tools. - If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
After You Beat an Urge
How do you beat your urges? Examine how you beat the last one so it can help you beat the next one.
Talk with people. Distract myself.
- Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI?
No - If Yes - What were they, and how did I figure them out?
N/A - What coping skills did I use to deal with these feelings?
None - Were these coping skills the most effective I could have used?
I don't know. - If No - What coping skills got me through?
?? - Why do I think they worked?
??? - How can I deal with these feelings more effectively next time, before the urge to SI sets in?
?????
