write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I will feel relieved for a short while- and the emotions I am trying to avoid will "disapear" for a bit, but then I will feel guilty and will probably not forgive myself for slipping. SIing will not help the situation in anyway - I am just so used to doing it when I feel like this
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It will bring instant relief. Everything will stop - if only for a little while, I will feel calm and ni control - I will feel capable of working and functioning as I won't be burdened with the emotions, so I will be able to get things done and be productive
It will make me feel like a failure and that I couldn't deal properly . I will feel stupid and guilty and worthless. It will only help in the short term.
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel in control of my life. I want to be happy and able to deal with anything that life presents me with without a sharp object. I want to feel safe in my own presense. I want to be present and in the moment. Hurting myself is a very stupid idea. It is going to be very destructive- not only in the literal sense...
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
no, it's the not the best option.... but i WANT TO! *stamps feet and pouts*
relief will last between 5mins and 2 days +-... quite a big range
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I am currently employing all other coping stratergies . My right arm is covered in red paint made to look like a cat savagely attacked me
am doing these questions, also msging a friend in between {good at multi-tasking} I could do my work - *groans* or anything - make crumpets
...really anything but cut myself. may go throw some ice cubes around, or squeeze them....how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I will feel awfull If I hurt myself. I will cry and lie in bed wallowing in self pity. I will feel insanely guilty and most probably bear one hell of a grudge. I will be so so sooooooo regretful and may even cut again b/c... you know what's the point of trying anyway...
I will feel much better if I use other coping methods. I will be proud of myself and realise that it's not so bad and I can survive horrible moments
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to feel secure and safe. I want to feel capable and in control
...oh I dont know! I could do the whole "be nice to myself routine" self soothe n all,....
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I feel overwhelmed. there is too much going on. I feel out of control and unable to cope. I can't make other change. I am sad.
Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
yes
I ususally cut when I feel like this
I feel good
but then bad
and guilty...always guilty
and somehow it happens again
more recently - I have just gone and practiced my distress tolereance skills and such though
What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I have simulated SI with the paint
I have talked to a friend online - though not about me felling urgey..
I have "sat with the feelings"
How do I feel right now?
sad
anxious
lonely
overwhelmed
angry
tired
confused
upset
out of control
How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
relieved
happy
though angry at myself
How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
terrible, guitly... wait - I'm sure I've said this above??
Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I can't avoid life - though sometimes I wish I could...
Yes- I can deal with the stressor better, though
Do I need to hurt myself?
No. maybe. but I don't want to
but I'm doing well. Done a fair amount of work, at least and am not worrying anymore that it has to be absolutely perfect- which is quite a relief.
