Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. Look at it. Ask yourself:
- How will this situation or feeling change if I hurt myself?
The situation will obviously be the same. The feeling will go away. - What will hurting myself bring to the situation? What will it take away from the situation?
It will make my head stop. I'll stop feeling what I'm feeling now, but instead I'll just feel guilty and upset that I gave in. - How do I want to feel about this in the long run? Is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to not have to worry about this in the long run. I want everything about SI to be the farthest thing from my mind, which hurting myself is definitely going to put me farther from that feeling. - If hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? What will I do then?
Probably until morning. Then I'll just go through all of this again on top of having to get up and get through three classes. - What is something I could do now instead of hurting myself? How will it change the situation I'm in? How long will that change last, and what will I do then?
I could write or I could just go to sleep. Writing could go either way- it could help me sort my thoughts out but it could also just put focus on the things I'm trying to pretend aren't bothering me right now. Sleeping isn't going to change much. I'd just be putting the situation on hold until the morning. Neither are really going to change the situation much nor last very long. - How will I feel tomorrow if I hurt myself? How will I feel tomorrow if I do the other thing I came up with?
If I hurt myself, most likely guilty and hopeless. If I just go to sleep, probably the same way I do now. - What do I really want to do right now? How can I best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I really want to just turn off my brain. I don't know, though I wish I did.
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
Because my head is going a mile a minute and I want it to stop. I've let it just build up. I should know better. - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
Yes, I have, quite a few times. I don't remember how I used to deal with. I remember feeling just this hopeless a year ago. I did something to change that. I really wish I knew. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I've tried focusing on my homework and I took a ridiculously long shower. I guess I could just go to bed and hope sleep comes quickly, that's about it. - How do I feel right now?
Lonely, like a social outcast/loser, hopeless... - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
Like everything is real. Like what I'm feeling is valid and that my body is still attached to my head. - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
Relief. Blank. My head will stop. Tomorrow morning I'll probably feel the same as I do now, just with the guilt of hurting myself now on top of it. - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I don't know. I'm sure I can. I just get my head out of the way to think of something now. - Do I need to hurt myself?
Technically no. But it would help. It would be so easy.
Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.
