After

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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labbaw
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After

Post by labbaw » Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:14 am

Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Done

what had happened just before? Nothing in particular that I can remember.

what were you thinking and feeling? I'm having a really hard time remembering anything right before I cut. I'm pretty sure I was totally dissociated. I don't remember my thoughts or feelings.

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it? This came after 3 days of watching my bf come off of ODing on sleeping meds. I had to do everything, take care of everything. The last straw I guess was having to make the bed all by myself after he peed on it cause he was so doped up he didn't make it to the bathroom.

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw. I honestly do not know. Unless I called 911 on my bf.

were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how? I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping.

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work? I tried coming on to here and posting. I tried taking a hot shower. I tried watching some TV. None of these things worked obviously.

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they? I perhaps should've called someone or woken up my bf. Or I could've written in my journal.

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again. I will put these into my Crisis Plan.

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution? I guess it's resolved. I'm not really sure what led up to it.

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation? Yes. I need to catch myself when I'm getting overwhelmed and not taking care of my own needs...i.e. putting other's needs above my own.

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying. Calling someone. Writing. Doing something or some things from the Coping List on this website.


About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.

What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
It was just easier for one thing...well that's kind of a cop-out because I actually had to search and search for something to use. So, what made it more appealing was that it's the easiest method in regards to getting rid of anxiety.

Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking? I'm not sure I understand this question. In other words, was there a tool? I had to search for one. Oh I get it...I had to actually create an opportunity because I wasn't alone and I didn't have a tool.

What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge? If I hadn't have found a tool, I would've taken an anti-anxiety med and occupied my time until it kicked in.

If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased? It would've increased.

What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling? Both being alone and having tools.

If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel? A bit lost, but I don't generally have tools anyway. And I'm not usually alone.
There is a reason for everything.
Hugs welcome
SI-free since Sept 3 2008

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LBC
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Post by LBC » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:05 pm

Hi Labbaw

It sounds like you're dealing with a lot right now...

Do you have someone that *you* can talk to as you're supporting your boyfriend? That seems very important right now, especially if you're dissociating. I'm happy to hear that you have a Crisis Plan.

Don't beat yourself up over this; it makes sense that in very stressful times you're going to want to turn to a familiar coping mechanism. Focus on the fact that you came here to find out what you can do to keep it from happening next time, and give yourself credit for that.

Take gentle care.

:1paw:
If you believe everyone is the future
If you believe that nothing ever goes wrong
If you believe that deep down inside you're really falling apart
Know that everybody's weak and everyone can be strong. - Sloan

You always have a choice.

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labbaw
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Post by labbaw » Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:25 pm

Hi Little Bear Cub,

Yes I called the person covering for my therapist. And I'm waiting for him to call me back. That should help me I hope. Thanks for caring and for posting.

Liisa
There is a reason for everything.
Hugs welcome
SI-free since Sept 3 2008

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