Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I'll be able to stop worrying about thins on my mind for once. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It'll bring more relief and get away from feeling stressed and pissed off over little things. - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
Just able to get through annoying times like this, and hurting myself wil get me closer... - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It'll give me overnight relief and then because I'm at work, I'm distracted...aw man I've sorta planned this out as per usual -.- - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Because I'm so frigging tired I could sleep...because I'm pissed off over my friend not listening to me I could just write things down, once again it'll last overnight and then it's work time. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
Probably idiotic, especially as I told my Dad on the car home how well I'm doing without cutting myself. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
Just want to make sure everything and everyone are okay, and I just want myself to feel good from something and not rejected...
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
The fact I'm so pissed off my friend didn't listen to me when he is playing with his life pretty much even though he made his own girlfriend and me panic over what damage he could've done to himself...and then I feel it's my fault for not doing enough... - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
No, never had to sort out a friend wanting to take way too many tablets to sort out a headache, try and stop him but he didn't bother to listen no matter what sort of warning you gave... - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
Karate, totally worn out from that but I still wonder what is going to happen tonight... - How do I feel right now?
Pissed off, annoyed, rejected. - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
Just away from the above feelings for a while, then i can sleep. - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
Better, but tomorrow morning not so sure as I've gotta shower and see the cuts I've done to myself - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
Not really, probably deal with it better now I have some background info. - Do I need to hurt myself?
Once again I WANT to, I don't NEED to. So the answer is no. Still gotta keep at it, I will make it through the night I KNOW I can.
SHACA