before...

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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lily_trying
part of the fixtures
part of the fixtures
Posts: 2613
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 12:17 pm
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before...

Post by lily_trying » Sun Dec 23, 2007 12:52 pm

(my 1st time posting in this part of the board... reading the threads here has been really helpful.)
  • how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? ...I'd probably have added feelings of guilt. I might feel more grounded... the situations wouldn't change at all, moreso the feelings (for better and for worse)...
  • what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? Unsure... I want to say it would bring help/control but logically I know it would bring the opposite.
  • how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way? I just want to get through the current situation, to deal & cope with it & get beyond it... which I guess giving in would put me farther away.
  • if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then? It wouldn't last for long, and I would probably feel urged again after because of wanting that relief to last.
  • what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then? I want to do something that's productive as to fixing the situation but that seems impossible... so i guess writing e-mails or contacting people, distracting myself here or elsewhere online, listening to music, going to sleep. none of that would really change the situation at all, though, except for possibly lowering the urges. i wish i could come up with something better that would seem more productive & helpful besides the distraction type things but i'm getting a blank.
  • how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with? I'd feel guilty if I gave into the urges, I'd feel like I didn't deserve things... I'd be even more urged. Going without, those feelings wouldn't be added too at the least.
  • what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I really want to just be able to ccontact someone & not be alone & to feel supported. Or I want to feel rested and in less pain. I guess I should focus on those needs instead of SI, as it;'s the motivation behind it, it's just that I feel blocked to actually doing those things a bit and the other seems easier...
  • Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? Wanting to feel grounded from flashbacks and other bad thoughts. Wanting to focus on something else besides the pains that are already present.
  • Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? I have definitely been in the same situation & feelings many times before, but my mind seems to be blocking me off from remembering how to deal with it.
  • What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me? Writing this/finishing this, listening to music, getting ready to try to sleep, possibly contacting people...
  • How do I feel right now? Scared/panicked, abandoned, drained...
  • How will I feel when I am hurting myself? "Blankness."
  • How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? Guilty, urgy... and the things I already feel as well...
  • Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future? Can't avoid it, could deal with it better if i were stronger though.
  • Do I need to hurt myself?
Logically, no... emotionally is probably different.

(thank you for letting me post in this part of the forum, am hoping using this kind of thinking will help.... :star: )

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