Before (I think it worked!)

[disastercake]

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:


* how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I will feel worse, because I will have let myself down as well as the people close to me

* what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It will make me feel better for a moment or too. It will take away the months that I have been fighting to be SI free

* how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to be able to better deal with my emotions in a more constructive manner. It will get me further away from what i have been working at

* if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
The relief will last through the night, and maybe i'll be able to sleep. In the morning i'll have to figure out how to hide it

* what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could try to go to bed, or call someone. I might be able to just fall asleep , and then i won't be able to SI. It will last until the morning when hopefully the urge will be gone

* how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I will be very disappointed in myself that i gave up my months free which i am very proud of. i will feel the same, not better and not worse if i just go to sleep.

* what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to open up to someone, and share my feelings that i've been supressing for a long time. i can call someone, or i can try to wait until i can see them



urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer


* Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I am having a hard time dealing with emotions that were brought talking to someone online. We have been working on opening up to each other because he has issues too and we sort of have online, and it' sbrought up bad emotions for me and i'm sitting alone in the dark

* Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
I haven been exactly here, actually WANTING to share emotions. I've dealt with these emotions in the past by self-injuring. It killed the emotions, but it also left me unable to really connect with people.

* What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I have talked to people online, and i have come back here. i can watch tv so maybe it'll put me to sleep and take things off my mind

* How do I feel right now?
I feel sleepy and a little upset and vunerable

* How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
I will feel release and protection from those feelings

* How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? I will still be tired, and I will be able to fall asleep. I will be ashamed and wonder why after all this time i gave in

* Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I have always avoided opening up to others, but i don't want to anymore. In the future, i can avoid opening up online when i'm alone, and instead do it when someone is there so i don't do anything stupid.

* Do I need to hurt myself?
No, i never NEED to, it just helps sometimes. If I do it I will be less able to open up to the person i want to, and who wants to open up to me. It has taken me a long time of not hurting myself to feel able to open up and share with someone, and I don't want to lose that again.

[Chaocontrol6]

Well done on realising that in the end no matter how much you want to SI in the long run you always have the choice, it's in your hands. Hope you slept the night ok and it went well

Jason

[disastercake]

thanks so much, and i really like your signature.
i slept okay, it just took me a while to get to sleep, but i feel better today

[Mayalaen]

Congrats on making it through. Glad you feel better

[disastercake]

thank you