Before.

[twistddreamr]

* how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

I will feel initial relief..then will have to deal with the consequences of my actions (ie guilt/people finding out etc)

* what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

It will release the stress and tension thats building up inside. I will feel bad about it after because I've been slipping so much lately.

* how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

I just don't want to feel like this anymore, to feel like I need to hurt myself to survive. Hurting myself will not help me with this goal.

* if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

A day at the most. It may make the feeling pass, or the feeling may come right back again. I guess I'll be stuck again unless a coping method works that time instead of this time.

* what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

I could write on myself, but my roommate won't let me out of her sight pretty much. And it doesn't usually help that much anyway.

* how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

I will probably feel guilty.

* what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I want to find something that will help without self harm. I need to think harder. Try harder. Not let myself cop out.