After *shrug* comments are welcome

[idork]

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
no, i'm about to cut some more... trying to delay myself

what had happened just before?
talked to some people, nothing really

what were you thinking and feeling?
apathetic, unfeeling, angry, depressed, annoyed

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
I'm tired of secrets. I'm tired of drama. I'm tired of SU thoughts. I'm tired of feeling lifeless.

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
went to work, came home, SU thoughts said hi, went online, browsed around, talked to some people, computer crashed, I had already been planning it for a while, so I sied

were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
none

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
nothing, just about to PM some people, but didn't

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
nothing that I can think of... I'm still very apathetic right now sorry


how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
no its not resolved... it will come back

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
yes, I recognized this one, delayed it, then reacted

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
..... cant..... i dont know


What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
I wanted to feel pain. I'm alone and able.

Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
there for the taking

What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
waited until later

If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
increased

What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?


If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
horrible



Any comments would be great right now. I'm still triggered and waiting for some of the pain to subside before I possibly SI again... yeah I'm that much of a failure that I have to repeat my actions.

[Twinky]

Hey id,

Have you thought about trying some things which are like SI but 'not as bad'

like drawing on yourself with a red pen or red dye?
holding an ice cube in your hand?

Things that could do the same releasing feelings without harming you?

[idork]

I haven't... I should try some of those. I really dont want to do the ice cube thing when it's really really cold in my house already lol. I'm looking for a red pen right now.

[idork]

Nevermind, I'm too worried I'll use the pen to injure myself.... there are ways my friends there are weird ways to injure yourself... heh... I grabbed some playdoh though, and it's pink *squishes playdoh*

[Twinky]

That sounds good!

Pleased you're trying

The more time you distract yourself, hopeully the more likely you'll detrigger