I'm just doing this for closure I guess. I'm hurting a lot and it's my fault. I need to recognise that random urges still hurt later.
have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Yeah all good. Well I refused to have them closed up but they're clean and stuff.
what had happened just before? I bought some new blades, then had a panic attack.
what were you thinking and feeling? Desperation. Had to cut before anyone came in.
why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it? I guess just being alone. A window of opportunity, that kinda thing.
how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
Mmm, I was a bit lazy and just decided to give up on stopping. I know what I should've done.
were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
Nope.
what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I didn't.
in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
Just not been alone. And not buying new blades... *dumb*
name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
Tell someone when I'm urgey, that's the main thing. I just didn't want to I guess. But that's always going to help.
how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
Umm, well it wasn't much really. I don't know if it helped or hindered whatever I was feeling though.
are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Yeah, I will be. Just random urges for no reason... I'll know.
what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
Tell someone.
Distract: shower or something.
Lists of why and why not.
After.
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your things to try before next time are really good well done on puttiung them down. i'm sorry that you ended up SIing but remember we all slip form time to time and do things that won't necessarily help recovery (i've certainly been known to go out and buy new tools evenwhen trying to stop ) it's good that you can recognise that talking to people before it escalates woill be a helpful thing.
take care
xx
take care
xx
Being almost devastated is horrible because it lingers. But total devastation brings a kind of peace. It lets you give up.
Thieves and Kings: Volume Two by Mark Oakly
The line between normal and crazy seemed impossibly thin. A person would have to be an expert tightrope walker in order not to fall.
Running with scissors - Augusten Burroughs
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