Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Yes - it was last night - what had happened just before?
Things have been mounting since i came back from holiday. I was feeling lonely and depressed and pointless. I had drunk a bottle of wine and eaten a LOT of chocolate which has spoilt my healthy eating kick that i am on. Then my friend rang me up in tears as he is totally devestated about his divorce. I spoke to him for an hour and tried to help him. At the end i felt even more hopeless and alone and invisible. - what were you thinking and feeling?
Lonely, depressed, revolted in self, hopeless - why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
I wanted the pain, the marks, the visible signs of the way i am feeling inside - how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
The last straw was having to spend a long time on the phone to a friend that is really hurting at the moment, and wanting to help but not knowing what to do and realising that there probably isnt anything i can do, other than just be there for him to talk at. But I think i knew from the moment i got up yesterday morning that the only way i could get through the day would be to do something. The whole day built up to it and i didnt really try to resist at any point. It was almost as though i was looking forward to it. - were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
I had consumed a bottle of wine. I am trying to stop drinking but i cant stop everything at once. - what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I didnt try anything at all - in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I couldnt have called my friend which is what i might have done, because he was the one in pieces on the phone that was the last straw.
Other things i could have done:
- had a bath - but i needed to be able to get to the phone if my friend had called back, so i wouldnt have been able to relax
- meditation - ditto above
- watched tv - i did do this, but i cant watch tv indefinately - i need to sleep and that means going to my bedroom and being alone with thoughts..no escape - name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
- how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
Situation not resolved and now i have to find a way to cover the scars when i go home to see mum next week. More stress - more chances to do it again.
- are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
I feel as if i have been in and out of this emotional situation for the past year and a half. i cant see it ever ending,
Miffy
