before

[its_just_me]

1. I already screwed up after almost 6 months 2 days isn't going to make a difference especially if I feel better.

2. There's no immediate situation I guess, it just feels like I always have this urge to hurt mysel and if I give in now it will stop for a little bit.

3. I know that this won't help and I will feel worse for it later...I'm feeling the effects of doing it last time now

4. It will last for tonight and I'll just want it again. It won't make me feel better in the long run at all.

5. I could sleep. I need to do that, I know that rest is important but I hate waking up urgy again. It's such an empty feeling.

6. I will feel just like I do now if I burn myself tonight, guilty, embarassed and discouraged.

7. I don't know what I want. I know that I need to take care of myself but I want this feeling to stop and I don't know how to do that. I really don't want to be alone.


I don't know how to make this go away, and I get that there's probably something emotional happening that the urgyness is covering up. I don't know what to do with it. I don't need to hurt myself...the lie is that I need it to feel better. The truth is that it doesn't last. I might sleep better tonight but I won't tomorrow.

I just hate being alone with this feeling.

[LBC]

How did it go, its_just_me?

It sounds like you're very sure that the calm you'll get from self-injury is only temporary, and that's a great insight.

Maybe now you just need some good distractions, to help strengthen your resolve during the times when your urges are very strong.

There's an excellent post in Sourcebook about distractions. I like Sudoku, myself; it puts my mind in a less emotional space.

I hope you're doing okay.

[its_just_me]

thanks. It went well last night. But I still feel really strongly about wanting to do it. I'm just tired of this feeling! I wish it would go away. Oh well. I just need to keep up my resolve. I'm sure that this will pass with time.