write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
situation or feeling won't change, unfortunately at the moment it's all largely out of my hands, which is adding to the frustration right now. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it will bring relief, a sense of calm maybe. it'll take away my coping strategies, my control and my ability to say that i'm better and can cope ok - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i want to be able to deal with dtress, worry and going out drinking in a healthy way. i want to be able to loo in the mirror and not want to cry, not loathe what i see. cutting won't get me closer to this, but i'm not sure it'll take me further either
- if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
relief will last till the moring maybe, it'll ease things for tonight, make it easier to sleep, but i'll feel worse tomorrow and everyhting will still be there tomorrow - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
spend time here, talk to someone, call the samaritans - maybe. distractions, games, drink more water, apply for new jobs - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
tired, exhaused and fed up either way i suspect, but if i hurt myself i'll also be disappointed and low, if i don't i'll probably be more stressed (not sure which is worse - well logically i am but my heart is saying different) - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i want to cry, i want to punish myself for being stupid enough to believe that i could have got this job, i want to relieve the frustration and stress that's building inside of me
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
worry about whether i'll get the job or not, boredom, geep stuffs, alcohol
- Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
no this situation is new - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
sobered up, spent time here, chatted to my housemates, played with hamster - How do I feel right now?
frustrated, stressed and scared - lie i'm onthe edge and about to crash all over again - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
relieved? - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
calm, guilty, useless, worthless - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
nope iot's out of my hands - Do I need to hurt myself?
no
but i'd like toRemember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.