after :/

[fishhead]

* have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
yes.

* what had happened just before?
i'd been crying for hours

* what were you thinking and feeling?
I was lonely and tired.

* why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
Everyone was asleep so it was easy.. I wasn't thinking much.

* how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I'd been crying since about midnight..and it was 6:30am. I really just wanted to sleep and I couldn't stop my thoughts from racing so I figured I'd just do it even though it'd solve nothing good because it'd calm me down enough to relax then and deal with any issues after having slept a bit. I should've found a sleeping pill or benadryl or something and let myself get some sleep first. I was so tired.

* were there outside factors like drugs, alcohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
I was exhausted and I've been sick for a few days. Mom made me quit therapy and meds about a month ago and I've just been stacking everything on. I don't know how to tackle the therapy/meds issue because she is very much against it and I am a minor so I can't go behind her back.

* what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I didn't try anything.. :/

* in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I should've tried to calm down and breathe. Sometimes writing down all the issues in my head and tackling them one at a time helps too.

* name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
I moved my tools away from my bed (where this typically happens) so that I have to have enough energy to go get them. Most of the time when I cut I'm in such a state that I don't move much at all for hours.. If they are further away I have to clear my head enough to move.. If my head is clear enough to move then I'm less likely to hurt myself.

* how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
I just need to calm down some.

* are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Probably.. I know when I'm in that stage because I just cry for hours and don't move and whatnot..

* what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
Sleeping, finding someone to talk to, distracting myself by reading or something.. I dunno

[Stripe]

I am really sorry it got to this point, but you seem to have some ideas on how to get through this next time. Can you see a school counsellor or anyone do you think?

[fishhead]

My parents don't approve of me talking to anyone. I used to but they decided I didn't need it. I'll probably bring it up with them sometime, but my great grandpa died yesterday morning and my mom had to get a flight to Canada in a moment's notice. It's just not a good time to bring it up with them. It's been a bad week, but we'll make it.

[Stripe]

That does sound difficult, I empathise.

I am glad you think you'll make it - I think you will as well.

[fishhead]

Thank you.