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Binayshee · Post by **Binayshee** » Fri Sep 07, 2007 3:29 am

two days.

caged bird · Post by **caged bird** » Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:18 am

well done

Binayshee · Post by **Binayshee** » Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:42 am

thank you! three days now

today
was harder too. i found myself craving
and then visualizing doing it. so i envisioned
a stop sign to try and halt that.

Binayshee · Post by **Binayshee** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 3:08 pm

i will have six days if i make it to 6:30 pm.
i had insomnia last night so i took
half a xanax. i feel like it's going
to be a difficult day in terms of
not doing it (s.i.) in the past, xanax
has made me more vulnerable, i've
noticed. plus i'm tired, and didn't
sleep all that well even after taking
it. but i know it would have been
worse if i didn't do something. i
was not up for insomnia.

so since i'm tired and in a fog,
it's easier to start doing it without
being consciously aware of what
i'm doing or where my hands are.

and if i get to a certain point of
uncomfortability, then i've noticed
i'll just "go for it" and not care. so
i guess today will be about making
sure my stress levels stay down,
being aware of my hands, and not
getting too riled up or uncomfortable
about anything.

Binayshee · Post by **Binayshee** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:04 pm

okay i already have a big challenge for not getting
too anxious/riled up.

i have misplaced or lost a
check for a substantial amount of money. the only
money i have and i need it to pay bills that are due
asap. bills that will have a really bad consequence
if i do not pay. i am in a panic.

i looked everywhere in the house. it was loose
floating around in my purse, then i had taken it
out in rush, it could have easily fallen out too.
i most likely lost it, i think. because its not any-
where i can think of, or anywhere it has been,
or should be. i feel very scared and sad.

Binayshee · Post by **Binayshee** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 4:26 am

i so kicked ass with that. i finally sat down
and prayed for help and turned it over,
and then i got up and went right to it
and found it. i have six days now. i also
have a really bad headache and my body
hurts. i am going to go to bed before i ruin
day 6.

six days. i am very pleased with
myself for that.

Binayshee · Post by **Binayshee** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:33 am

7 days. that's a week. i am having a hard
time right now though because i feel tired,
i have a headache and my necks hurts and i
feel...uhhh i dont even know how to describe
it. i feel highly vulnerable.

caged bird · Post by **caged bird** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 9:06 am

congrats on the wee, and well done for coping so well with some stressful situations

bus

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