after. :oops:

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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Fieryphoenix
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after. :oops:

Post by Fieryphoenix » Fri Aug 17, 2007 4:56 am

After:

Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
  • have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
    ya
  • what had happened just before?
    i feel lonely and lost
  • what were you thinking and feeling?
    that i want G to pay attention to me and like me :oops:
  • why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
    no not really
  • how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
    idk
  • were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
    im drunk, but thats a normal state for me
  • what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
    i didnt
  • in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
    staying on BUS, asking more poeple for help, going to sleep
  • name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
    idk
  • how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
    no, its not resolved, no t in the slightisht. IDK
  • are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
    most likely. i will feel lonely and want someone to be with me.
  • what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.

stay on BUS, go to sleep, maybe call G?
About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
  • What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
    same as anyother tiem
  • Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
    there for the taking
  • What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
    would have waited til friends went to sleep, then gave in.
  • If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
    increased
  • What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
    whenever i feel like it. i can create the opp.
  • If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?

like crap
After You Beat an Urge
How do you beat your urges? Examine how you beat the last one so it can help you beat the next one.
i dont normally
  • Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI?
    ya, i think so.
  • If Yes - What were they, and how did I figure them out?
    feeling lonesome and wantying someone
  • What coping skills did I use to deal with these feelings?
    i si
  • Were these coping skills the most effective I could have used?
    probaly not
  • If No - What coping skills got me through?
    IDK
  • Why do I think they worked?
    idk
  • How can I deal with these feelings more effectively next time, before the urge to SI sets in?


Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it. :oops: :oops:

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Fieryphoenix
bus mechanic
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Post by Fieryphoenix » Sat Aug 18, 2007 3:53 am

hello?? hello? anyone? :-?

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volta
being the change
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Post by volta » Sat Aug 18, 2007 4:02 am

:star:

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treasure
forum moderator - workshop & before & after
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Post by treasure » Tue Aug 28, 2007 11:26 pm

you posted a while ago but i guess this forum is generally slow and maybe you'll read this anyway. i'm reading ppl's after posts cos i'm trying not to si...

# what had happened just before?
i feel lonely and lost
# what were you thinking and feeling?
that i want G to pay attention to me and like me

could you organise things to do when you aren't triggered to help with loneliness?

# in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
staying on BUS, asking more poeple for help, going to sleep
# name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
idk

you could put people's phone numbers near your tools, or where you will see them? you could try and wait 15min (or any amount of time) while you use other coping mechanisms. sometimes they won't work "straight away" and telling yourself to wait will stop you being too impulsive.

# were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
im drunk, but thats a normal state for me

is that an issue that leads to si? could you try and reduce your drinking?

hope that helped a little. i think b&a is more about deconstructing your urges than getting advice, so ppl don't reply as often. you could pm a b&a mod if you want replies quicker i think?
treasure
virtual hugs welcome.
shiny place or old place

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