before..

[thatkid]

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I have a kidney specialist appointment thursday, im worried about them telling me there is nothing wrong again, which is what always happens. I know there is something wrong. something is making me sick, im in pain for a reason, and things are showing up on tests for a reason.

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
I have not been in this situation before.


What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
just posted here.. listened to music. painted.

How do I feel right now?
very nervous, afraid of denial from the doctors....

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
like i should, hurt, because maybe its all in my head. my fault i'm wasting the doctors time.

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
better, better for a while.

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
i'm hoping it wont happen in the future...

Do I need to hurt myself?
i dont think i should, but i feel the need to. to get back at myself, make myself less guilty of wasting peoples time.

[caged bird]

hey,

well done on answering the questions, it's not always easy to do when you're feeling urgy, i hope it helped a little.

I know there is something wrong. something is making me sick, im in pain for a reason, and things are showing up on tests for a reason.

this really stuck out at me, first off I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad and so ill, but you made the point here that you are ill, there is something wrong, just becasue at the moment no one can wor out exactly what it is doesn't mean there isn't anyhting wrong and it certainly doesn't mae the situation all in your head or mean that you're wasting peoples time. if you're hurting you're just as much deserving of help as anyone else

take care, and good luck with the appointment on thursday

[ChaseThisLight]

I know i get really stressed out and want to SI when something is going on with me that I have no control of...and health would be one of those issues. It's very hard to deal with health stuff when the doctors seem stumped. I hope that the specialist is either to come up with something, or at least have a fair idea. Remember though, you know your body, and if something isn't right with it, and you're concerned, keep telling people until someone listens and checks into it. Take care of yourself.