Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I won't feel like this anymore. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
- how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
- if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
I'm not sure how long. but anything will do. I guess I'll just end up hurting myself...again. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
i'm doing b&a, and this might help for a bit. I don't know how long it'll last. I could go to a friends house so I don't have to be alone. I could talk to H or listen to music. and write. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I'm starting to think I would feel better if I hurt myself. I've been doing the other things for 7 weeks now...and I just don't know how much longer I can go. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I feel likes it's been too long w/out hurting myself. registering for classes, and missing my family - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
no, I haven't been. so i don't know how to deal w/it. I haven't been to school in 4 years, and I'm freaking out about college. I have missed some of my family before, and when I did I would call them but after talking to them I just feel worse. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I don't know what else I can do. - How do I feel right now?
depressed. alone. stressed - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
I'm making myself believe I'll feel better, that it'll be okay sense I've waited this long to hurt myself. - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
After I'll feel anything but how I feel now. Tomorrow I'll feel bad, guilty about what i did... - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
no, I don't think this is something i can avoid - Do I need to hurt myself?
I know that I do not need to, but I feel like I need to. It's getting more difficult to understand that feelings are just feelings, that I don't have to act on them.
Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.
