After

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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miffy
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After

Post by miffy » Tue Jul 10, 2007 9:52 am

  • have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.

    Yes
  • what had happened just before?

    I'd found it really hard to get out of bed to go to work. Then when i did get up i sat on the sofa for ages just staring. Then i walked to the front door to leave and i just made the decision that in order to leave i had to cut myself, like i couldnt leave unless i had done that
  • what were you thinking and feeling?
    I was feeling lost and overwhelmed by work and life, feeling trapped cos i have no money but lots of debt, needing alcohol even though it was only 8am, i wanted to do something that made me feel like me again
  • why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
    There wasnt really a final straw, it was a conscious decision. I have been fighting the urges so much over the last few weeks and the urges have been much stronger than they were this morning, but this morning it was like i just decided to cut
  • how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
    I could have just left the house without cutting, and when the urges have been stronge before that is what i have done, but today i just gave in straight away
  • were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
    No
  • what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
    I didnt really try anything, because i didnt realise till the last minute that that is what i was going to do, and then it was a conscious deciision, so i didnt want to try anything else. It wasnt like i was struggling not to do it and gave in, i just decided i wanted to do it.
  • in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
    I think i need to talk more with my therapist about what this was all about
  • name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
  • how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
    Its not resolved because it was a conscious decision and i dont really know why


  • are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
    Yes, dont know


  • what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.




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caged bird
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Post by caged bird » Tue Jul 10, 2007 10:17 am

well done on writing here :)

you've been doing really well coping lately, but that doesn't mean that things aren't building up inside, i think talking things through with your T sounds like a really good idea.

Maing the conscius decisin to SI can often be much harder to deal with than trying to fight the urges, especially after you've not SIied for a while, becaue there seems to be a total lac of feelings and emotions behind it (from personal experience anyway)

when i lost my 3 yrs free recently, i had felt a lot worse previously, and i'd decided that i couldn't act on an irrational emotional impulse, but the moment that i felt a little better, and i still had some form of urge, i slipped up, so i guess sometimes it's your body continuing on withan urge when it sems to have passed in your head.

take care :star:
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