Before

[leemc77]

How will this situation or feeling change if I hurt myself?
- I don't think anything can change the situation
- Satisfaction knowing I'm in pain, when I caused his pain

What will hurting myself bring to the situation? What will it take away from the situation?
- The pain and suffering I deserve
- The overwhelming feeling of guilt

How do I want to feel about this in the long run? Is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
- In the long run - I don't know

If hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? What will I do then?
- I'm not sure, but is seems like any moment that takes this internal suffering away would be worth it
- I'll internalize it more...

What is something I could do now instead of hurting myself? How will it change the situation I'm in? How long will that change last, and what will I do then?
- I know the drill, I've got my coping workbook that I received during one of my IP stays - nothing is working

How will I feel tomorrow if I hurt myself? How will I feel tomorrow if I do the other thing I came up with?
- I think I will feel that my actions were justifiable
- Maybe I'll feel a little stonger...

What do I really want to do right now? How can I best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
- I want these horrible images to leave my head, I want to remember the good times

Urges aren't necessarily the enemy. They happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. Remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
- I still blame myself, I miss him....
- This stupid, silly holiday that stirs up my PTSD memories

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
- Yes - I hurt myself
- I felt like I deserved it

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
- Sleep, rock, pace, tried to read, tried watcing TV, trying the strategies in my Coping Workbook
- I don't know...I'm about out of ideas

How do I feel right now?
- Words can not explain the sadness, grief, remorse, self-hatred, depression,....that I feel right now

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
- Sometimes I feel nothing, sometimes I'm happy

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
- I will still be sad, but I deserve the pain - I blame myself, I let him down
- I will be upset, but feel that my actions were justifiable

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
- Start a petition to end Father's Day (and Mother's Day as well) - I know I'm being sarcastic - but there is nothing that I can do, this is one of my "I can't take/handle it" days that occur throughout the year

Do I need to hurt myself?
- I think so....

Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.

[LBC]

Hi leemc77

It sounds like this day is a very, very difficult one for you. I'm so sorry.
These parent appreciation days can be diffcult for a lot of people, for a lot of reasons...you are not alone.

How will I feel tomorrow if I hurt myself? How will I feel tomorrow if I do the other thing I came up with?
- I think I will feel that my actions were justifiable
- Maybe I'll feel a little stonger...

Are you able to say how the act of hurting yourself will change your feelings about your actions or yourself? Is there a way of doing the same thing more adaptively?

Is there a person that you can trust to call today, to talk to or to ask to help distract you? Knowing that your PTSD *is* going to make days like this more difficult...what extra supports can you put in place for these days?

The great thing about hard days is that they are over in 24 hours. Please be gentle with yourself today...no more harshness for you on a day that's already hard, okay?