before

[chero]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

it won't change the situation at all. everything will be exactly the same afterwards.


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

it will bring me some relief even if it's only temporary.

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

i don't know how i want to feel.


if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

it will get me through the day, i hope. then i'll think about the rest later.


what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

i don't know. i don't know i don't know

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

tomorrow i'll feel shame and fear

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

i want to run away and hide and pretend that i'm not me and this isn't my life and everything is okay.

More Before Questions To Answer

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

i have so many obligations to do this weekend and so many people to let down and disappoint. some big decisions and changes coming up and i'm unsure the next step to take. It's too much to cope with and this is all for me.

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?

i have been here everyday. i deal by just pushing what i can aside and promising myself i'll get to this later.

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?

there is no easing. it's hurt me or hurt others.

How do I feel right now?

scared. i was alone at the house but people just started coming over. i need to be alone.

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?

in control.

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

fear that i did too much. fear that others will find out. fear, fear, fear

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?

i can run away but i can't either. future? i don' know.

Do I need to hurt myself?

no i don't need to but i want to...maybe i do feel a need to. it's a release of the stress an dpain and sadness. [/b]

[chero]

i can't do this anymore. nothing is ever the right thing. keeping everything inside is the best way. then only myself is hurt.

there is never going to be an after. it's always before

[LBC]

Hi chero

I answered your "After" post.

Hope you're feeling a little better.