Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I'll feel much better once I cut, but the situation wont change, the feelings will just return tomorrow in addition to the ones I will be feeling from having cut - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? I'll get that rush that always makes me feel calmer when I am freaking out about something like I am now. I'll feel better, but it will take away the 9 days I have made it without SI.
- how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way? I want to feel loved and cared about, not that I'm someone to be used and cheated on. I want someone to care about me for me. And hurting myself really wont help that.
- if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then? It will last long enough so I can calm down and sleep.
- what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then? I'm talkin to my friends at the moment, becca from here and my ILF Dustin, who used to cut, so I'm in good hands.
- how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with? Ill feel like shit if I hurt myself, and tomorrow I'll feel a lil better I guess, knowing that I made it.
- what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I am so angry with myself for fucking letting myself get walked on again. Got cheated on once again. It's my fuckin fault, this always happens.
- Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? Yes, and I cut, and I felt good, because I punished myself for being so fuckin stupid
- What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me? I've tried the ice cube trick, and talking to friends. I don't know what to do, sleep maybe?
- How do I feel right now?
Unloved, full of self hate - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
Numb to all those emotions, letting the anger out on myself - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? shitty
- Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
become celibate - Do I need to hurt myself?
Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.
