before.

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

Moderator: treasure

Post Reply
User avatar
twistddreamr
sprouting branches
sprouting branches
Posts: 1144
Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2005 6:11 am
Location: New England, USA

before.

Post by twistddreamr » Tue May 08, 2007 4:56 am

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

I will calm down and might be able to finally get some work done instead of leaving it all for tomorrow.


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

It will bring a calm and clear mind for a little while. It will take away all the work I've done for the past year and five months.


how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

I think it would help me short term, but I would be upset about it afterwards. Hurting myself isn't going to really solve anything, just keep me from going completely insane right now.


if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

maybe an hour....after that i'd either be working on homework so I would have gotten work done, or the fact that I ended my SI free time would be realized and I'd just want to cut again.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

i've tried doing work (obvs not working), looking around bus, playin comp games, talking to my roommate...nothing's really worked.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

I'll feel guilty if i hurt myself. I'll probably feel the same way tomorrow as I do right now. Desperate. Scared. Angry. Sad. Confused. Tired.

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

to hurt myself.

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

I have too much work to do and not enough time to do it in. I can't ask for extensions because it's the end of the year. I'm angry at myself for not speaking up about how I was feeling in therapy today. I'm angry that I most likely failed a test even though I studied really hard. I'm tired of all this pressure all the time. I can't take it.

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?

I've been here plenty of times. Almost constantly lately. I've mostly ignored it and tried to do other things....and if that didn't work I'd try sleep. Sometimes the sleep helped and sometimes I felt the same as before I made myself go to sleep.

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?

Tried distractions listed above. I want to try the elastic band method but I always end up bruising myself...so I guess that doesn't count as not hurting myself :roll:

How do I feel right now?

Desperate. Scared. Angry. Sad. Confused. Tired. (maybe a lil su) :oops:

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?

Calm, clear, collected. Under control.

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

The calm will stay with me for a while. Tomorrow I'll be upset that I have to start over from almost a year and a half.

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?

It's school mostly that's stressing me. I can't really get rid of it...it's always there (at least for another year). I can work on organization and motivation.

Do I need to hurt myself?

Sure feels like it....I'm not sure.




replys?
Image

As I search for the resolution...

"we're all just a little bit fucked up." ~Rob Thomas

"you have to earn your heaven." ~ Pop RIP

User avatar
ChaseThisLight
board admin emeritus
board admin emeritus
Posts: 9166
Joined: Wed Jul 16, 2003 7:47 am
Location: In an ice chunk

Post by ChaseThisLight » Tue May 08, 2007 7:13 am

School is seriously one of the worst stressors. I know it tends to be a huge stressor for me (and is right now), especially at the end of the year. Sometimes I have to practically force myself to focus and work on papers and projects, and then I generally start to feel better once I sit myself down and force myself to work. Sometimes I like to take walks or have a good conversation with someone before I buckle down so at least I can clear my mind and get to work. By filling out the before questions, I think you know that SI probably isn't the answer to your problems...and if you do SI you will regret it. But just as a gentle reminder, you will not lose the time you were SI free...that's a hard thing for me to remember after I have SI'd....I hope you can hang in there and find a helpful distraction. Take care.

notmardy
Image
Cuz' you know, I don't do sadness

No one controls your destiny. Even at the very worst - there is always choice - Gregory Maguire Wicked

ChaseThisPhoto

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 11 guests