before - i'm trying

[caged bird]

Before You Self-Harm

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  It'll make the feelings of hurt and frustration go away, it'll make me calm
  
  
  
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  it will bring relief to me although possibly a slight invalidation to how i'm feeling. it will also bring feelings of guilt and take away ...
  
  
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  further becasue i want to go back to being SI free, but i want this all to stop right now and i don't now how else to make it go
  
  
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  it'll be temporary, and then i'll probably SI again, i've already SIed tonight but all i want to do is get through the night
  
  
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  I'm doing this, it's about as much as i can manage, i promised on after last time that i'd call a frined but the one person i could tell is busy tonight and the other one i could chat to about other stuff but who'd be o with me in this mood is working hard too
  
  
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  guilty
  
  
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
  cry myself to sleep

More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
  lots of things, starting to Si again, counselling today, a general feeling that i can't cope with all of this anymore, that i'm fed up of pretending to be fine when i haven't been for so so long
  
  
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
  not lie this, the last time i felt this bad was years ago, long before uni and evertything was differnet then
  
  
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
  cried, went to bed for a bit, played online games, posted here, read some of the coping thread
  
  
• How do I feel right now?
  scared
  
  
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  claruty
  
  
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  stupid
  
  
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  no
  
  
• Do I need to hurt myself?
  i honestly don't know anymore

[LBC]

Hi caged bird

There's nothing wrong with crying yourself to sleep. It's definitely something I've done to get through urges. And sometimes a good cry releases just enough emotion that getting to sleep is possible.

When I'm feeling unsafe and urgey, I like to curl up under one of my thick blankets, with the TV on low so I don't feel alone, and one of my favourite stuffies. Sometimes I treat myself to a snack I really like.

It's total escapism, but there's a place for even that in life...it sounds like you're needing some comfort. Are there other ways you can think of giving yourself comfort?

See Sourcebook for more distractions, too...

Take gentle care. if okay

[ChaseThisLight]

I remember the first time I SI'd after being SI free for almost two years...and after that point I felt like I had nothing to lose because I had already broken that streak. Just know that you haven't "lost" that time that you had accumulated. Taking things day by day is a very acceptable plan. Like LBC said, crying yourself to sleep is an okay thing to do. Crying relieves stress and hopefully will lessing some of the feelings you are experiencing. Take care.