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Neviah · Post by **Neviah** » Sun Apr 29, 2007 9:17 pm

Before:

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
It will feel better, calmer, but then guilt will happen. The situation won't change at all. Just make people unhappy.
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It will bring hatred and guilt but it will take away pain and confusion.
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
It will get me farther from what i want because i'll upset people and then they'll leave me..
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
it will last untill tomorrow when i'll just want to do it again
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
i could do a cross stitch, which will get me a step closer to sending my gift out. I could talk to some people but i dont know if that would work.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
i'll feel crap if i hurt myself, ill still be urgy if i do the other thing
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

i should probably sit and go through whats wrong, i should finish writing my book cause i just want to help people. The one thing would not be good is giving in.

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

Smeagol · Post by **Smeagol** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 8:12 am

Anyone in the usergroup can post here, rach. You're very welcome to post, whether you're starting your own threads or replying to them!

ChaseThisLight · Post by **ChaseThisLight** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 9:43 pm

I'm glad you can recognize the fact that if you SI now it's only a temporarily solution, and will only make you feel better until tomorrow when you may have a similar temptation. And you seem to have a viable distraction, cross stitching to finish a gift. I know I may be coming in a bit late...but I hope you are doing well.

Neviah · Post by **Neviah** » Tue May 01, 2007 8:19 pm

thanks you guys.

I did crossstitch in the end but i was that urgy that i was rooted to the spot and i didnt dare more.

I didnt hurt myself.

i still have the urge, its constant

ChaseThisLight · Post by **ChaseThisLight** » Tue May 01, 2007 8:42 pm

Can you think of anything that you can do that could make the urge subside? I know for me, going outside and breathing fresh air, or going on a walk or some sort of physical activity, often times makes my urges subside somewhat. Perhaps those are poor examples, but can you think of something that works for you?

Neviah · Post by **Neviah** » Tue May 01, 2007 10:15 pm

i used to walk untill i wasnt hurting anymore but it doesnt work anymore

bus

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