- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I will feel in control, I will feel safer. I will also feel guilty but I think the relief outweighs that, at least in the moment. Tomorrow I will probably feel more guilt.
- what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
Hurting myself will bring a feeling of control. I will not feel so terrified because at least I can control my punishment. It will make me feel safe, like I've paid my dues and can go to sleep. It will take away the overwhelming level of anxiety.
- how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel safe. Hurting myself will bring me closer to feeling that way because at least I'll be the one controlling the hurt.
- if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
The relief will hopefully last through the night, allow me to sleep. In the morning I can occupy myself with other things and spend time in the company of people.
- what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I can play a computer game for a while. It would distract me but as soon as I try and go to sleep, I won't have any defenses against the urge. I don't know if I can distract myself all night.
- how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
Tomorrow I will feel guilty and a little angry at myself if I hurt myself tonight. If I distract all night, I will be very tired in the morning, and fearful that the urge will just come back again and I'd have spent a night awake for nothing.
- what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I want to hurt myself because I feel like I have done wrong and that punishment is coming for me, and the best way to alleviate that fear is to punish myself before something else can.
- Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
In the past, I have always punished myself in this situation. Occasionally I can find a less damaging form of punishment.
- What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
So far I have attempted to distract by staying with people as long as I could, as well as watching a movie, and logging on to BUS to post here. I could also try to keep myself distracted all night with computer games or movies.
- How do I feel right now?
I feel very anxious. I feel like something is coming for me.
- How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
I will feel absolved, safer, calmer.
- How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
Taking care of the wound after hurting myself will help me to feel calm. Tomorrow morning I will feel guilty and a little sad that I cope this way.
- Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I cannot avoid the stressors of everyday life, or my fears that I am doing things wrong. I am seeking help in hopes that I will be able to find another way to deal with this.
- Do I need to hurt myself?
My anxiety is climbing the longer I deny this urge. I feel as though something terrible might happen to me if I don't. I feel as though I do need to hurt myself, but I will continue to distract myself in hopes that I can somehow just fall asleep without it.
