I'm not really sure of any of these answers right now, I just know i've felt bad all day and that i've come ot hte library but brought a blade with me - which i guess can never be a good thing :s
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
the situation won't chande, I'll have just as much work todo and i guess to some extent i'll feel the same way- but i'll also be able to remember what it was like before and i'm starting to thik that that's the only way to make the urges go - it remind myself how bad it is.
- what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it will take away my coping skills and it will take away my willpower to keep fighting, but it will bring relief (i think) and it will bring some clarity to my head, it will make things right again
- how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
always further - but in the long run i want to not have urges and it's been 3 years and they still haven't stopped, and in a snese neither have i
- if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
i guess it'll only be temporary - part of me would like to think that it'll be the long term fix i need - i'll realise what a terrible thing it is to do and that'll be it for another 3 years or so, but in reality i guess i'll probably just cut again once the relief it brings has gone
- what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
distractins, it'll make me less likely to cut now but more likely to in the long run as i'll be even further behind with my work. it'd only be a temporary change and then these feelings would come back again
- how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
bad either way (eugh that's pessimistic) if i distract myself i'll feel guilty for not working adn more stressed tomorrw, if i SI then i'll feel weak and guilty and angry
- what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to get some work done but i'm really struggling with my motivation. I guess like usual i want to cry but that's not happening either.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
a lot of things, i think that things have been building up for a while, but i guess the biggest thing lately has been falling out with P and then my counselling session and realising that although i class myself as 3 yrs SI free, i've still been hurting myself just not cutting
- Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
not quite the same way, the realisation on wed made me think that actually there's not really any point in me continuing to fight the urges if i'm SIing in other ways instead
- What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
more distractions, it depends what type of hurt, they won't physically hutrt me but they'll slow down my dissertation and stress me more
- How do I feel right now?
frustrated, defeated, tired, guilty, fat, ugly, stupid...
- How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
relieved
- How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
guilty
- Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
i don't know to be honest
- Do I need to hurt myself?
not right now, but i'm not sure if i have anyhting to stop me needing to in the future
