after

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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driftingaway2007
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after

Post by driftingaway2007 » Thu Mar 29, 2007 12:18 am

After:

Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
  • have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait. no not really i let them be but this happened like 8 hrs ago

  • what had happened just before? i got 4 phone calls in reguards to visitation with my children and found out that they are stopped right now

  • what were you thinking and feeling? i thought about how much i cant live without my children and i cant handle the fear of losing them and never seeing them again

  • why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it? not know the future outcome fear anxiety of not knowing

  • how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw. dunno really my husband and i arguing him harrassing me everytime i was on the phone worry thoughts anxiety fear panic hopelessness with the whole situation

  • were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how? being off my medication might have contributed to it not sleeping well due to my depression anxiety and constant urges

  • what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work? i have been just avoiding dealing with what is going on which is prolonging the agony

  • in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they? no not really it was bond to happen eventually

  • name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.

  • how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution? my anxiety and urges are back cause i didnt do it deep enough to get rid of these painful feelings and agonizing worry thoughts

  • are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation? yes still am well i did get out of it for a bit but now i just want to do it more and deeper

  • what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
dunno right now

About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
  • What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?

  • Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?

  • What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?

  • If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased? it just gets stronger and stronger into i fuck up

  • What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?

  • If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
dunno lost alone

After You Beat an Urge
How do you beat your urges? Examine how you beat the last one so it can help you beat the next one.
  • Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI? yes

  • If Yes - What were they, and how did I figure them out? i have been fighting the urges for awhile now and couldnt cope with the icing on the cake

  • What coping skills did I use to deal with these feelings?

  • Were these coping skills the most effective I could have used?

  • If No - What coping skills got me through?

  • Why do I think they worked?

  • How can I deal with these feelings more effectively next time, before the urge to SI sets in? dunno right now i know if i wasnt in my emoitional mind i could figure it out

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