Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Yes, it happened last night.
- what had happened just before?
I had had a bit to drink, spoken to my mum who had got me wound up. Also i was quite tired after a weekend away
- what were you thinking and feeling?
I just wanted to hurt myself, so that i could make myself real again
- why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
I hadnt cut for 2 days because i was at a friends house and didnt feel comfortable enough to do it, plus there were her kids there and i didnt want awkward questions. But i really wanted to do it and so i took the first opportunity, i didnt even really try to stop myself
- how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
last week was pretty stressful, then the weekend away was quite intense, then i resolved to make last night the night where i drank my last alcoholic drink on my own, then my mum rang and wound me up being really insensitive about money and stuff. i had had a bath which normally takes the urge away but i hadnt had a bath to take the urge away, but becasue i needed a bath, so perhaps i wasnt thinking about it enough. i dont think there was anything i could have done that would have stopped me, as i had been wanting to for days and was almost looking forward to it
- were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
Yeah, definately the alcohol didnt help, and i was very tired. Not much i can do about the tiredness but i have resolved to try not to drink on my own anymore. Also am coming off the meds and i am thinking that htis is leaving me feeling very shaky
- what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I had a bath, but as i wasnt really trying to stop myself that didnt work
- in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I should have called my friend, as he always manages to calm me down and get me to a point where i dont want to harm anymore. but last night i wasn't really trying to stop myself. i wish i had now though.
- name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
- how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
situation isnt resolved, there are just so many reasons why i wanted to cut, i dont see how i am ever going to resolve them
- are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
i am very likely to be in that place again, this time i will try to remember to call my friend. i am scared though because last night i didnt want to stop myself, so i dont see how i will be able to pull myself up before i cut again
- what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
I am going to commit to not drinking on my own.
About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
- What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
I was comfortable and felt safe in my house, i was a bit drunk and tired, i wanted to feel real and cutting does that, i knew that no-one would be interupting me
- Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
I want to be able to be warn and comfortable and safe in my house without seeing it as a great opportunity to cut. Last night the two things went together so well that i couldnt stop myself
- What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
I would have been quite stressed and distracted, i robably would have eaten a lot of food and had lots of cups of tea, if able to
- If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
if i knew that there would be an opportunity in a while then the urge would decrease. if i knew that there wouldnt be an opportunity for a long time the urge would increase
- What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
being alone, having my knife, knowing that there will be no interuptions - so i will make telephone calls first to ensure that people i think might call, wont
- If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
panic-y, as if part of me was being denied, lonely
