write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
i will feel numb. i want numb right now. i am hurting.
- what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
i will feel nbumb. hah im repeating myself. it will take away the pain i am feeling.
i'll have lots of other problems to deal with then though.
- how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i want to feel healthy and good about myself.
hurting myself will only make me feel sicker. not healthy.
- if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
the relief won'T probably even last a minute because i'll have my gf and the aftermath to deal with. Can NOT hurt myself right now. need to fight this.
- what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
i will browse around the boards. i will reply in other people'S threads to distract myself. i will then walk my amd my gf's dogs.
this will last... until i'm in school. there i know i'll feel miserable. but i'll have my gf there.
this change will not last long. but it'S the best i can do right now.
- how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
if i hurt myself i will feel embarrassed, guilty, horrible. defected.
if i hang in there, i will feel like i got another chance to do things the right way.
- what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
what i really want to do right now is punch my uncles. how can i best honor this self-protective instinct? maybe i should go for a run... i might try that.
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
i feel the need to hurt myself because i am slowly but surely facing my past. i tried to write an angry rant. i tried to write a letter to my inner child. there's so muhc going on right now. i feel so muhc despair. but i am still hanging in there. that can only be a good thing.
- Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
i haven't been at this point of healing before. i have never tried writing a letter to my inner child. i have never tried letting out my anger. this is all new. i am scared.
- What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
i have tried writing a letter to my inner child. but that only made me feel worse.
i will leave in a few minutes to go with the dogs. i can hold on till then.
- How do I feel right now?
angry. scared. urgy. needy. scared. scared and god, oh so angry!!
- How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
embarrassed, guilty, scared.
- Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
i think this is something i will just have to get through. it'll get better. i know this. i just need to hold onto that thought.
- Do I need to hurt myself?
no. i don'T need to. i can hold on. i can hold on.
