Before

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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Seeshellz
my other car is a bus
my other car is a bus
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Location: Hiding in my shell...

Before

Post by Seeshellz » Sun Jan 28, 2007 10:41 am

Before:

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
  • how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
    It will take away the strong emotional hateful feelings I have towards myself I am hoping,
  • what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
    I need to feel read pain to take the emotional pain away, it will bring relief,
  • how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
    I just need relief, I am feeling SU and can't sleep with all of my thoughts and bad emotions running around in my head, in the long run I don't like it, but it's better than an OD, or a stay in the phosp or SU
  • if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then? I know the relief will not last long, but the cut, I can at least look at it and that brings me some relief too

  • what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then? distracting, I've been trying not to cut all night, it doesn't change the situation I'm in, nothing will, I can't forget the abuse

  • how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?if it works, good

  • what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to cut :(


urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer
  • Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I'm a bad,bad person, who deserves it, I need relief from this emotional pain, the abuse from my ex was talked about at length yesterday with someone new, trust issues, PTSD, fear of being rejected,

  • Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? I felt like cutting before, but not quite in this context.

  • What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?I tried self-talk, distraction, self-soothing,

  • How do I feel right now?
    I want to cut
  • How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
    External pain will feel good, but relief from the emotional pain
  • How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? Relief, I hope, not sure how I will feel tomorrow morning, I used to feel guilty, but not anymore

  • Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
    I can't avoid this stressor it happened it the past, was being brought up in the open again, talking about it for help and PSTD, I'm working on how to deal with it better in the future in therapy, but it's very hard atm
  • Do I need to hurt myself?
I am feeling SU, I hate myself, I feel like a bad person, I feel like I hurt and ruin other peoples lives, I feel I deserve to be hurt, I don't need to, maybe I can keep hanging on, time will tell



Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.
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"If you learn from your suffering,

and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,

you might be able to help someone else who's now

in the phase you may have just completed.

Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."

Anonymous

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balletomane
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Post by balletomane » Sun Jan 28, 2007 10:25 pm

Hi Shellz.

I don't have much advice right now. Just remember that SI, ODs, SU, and phosp stays aren't your only options. What other specific things can you try? What can you do to try to counteract the self hate feelings? (How about repeating a positive mantra?)

I hope you are feeling better soon. Be gentle with yourself. :heart:

User avatar
Seeshellz
my other car is a bus
my other car is a bus
Posts: 34295
Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 1:51 am
Location: Hiding in my shell...

Post by Seeshellz » Tue Jan 30, 2007 3:49 pm

Just so you know filling out those questions helped me not to cut that time. :)
"If you learn from your suffering,

and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,

you might be able to help someone else who's now

in the phase you may have just completed.

Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."

Anonymous

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balletomane
one of us
one of us
Posts: 13705
Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:54 am

Post by balletomane » Tue Jan 30, 2007 8:20 pm

Yay! I'm proud of you, Shellz. :heart:

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