After

[Arcadia]

Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.



have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.

yes i have put plasters on them


what had happened just before?

my housemate had suggested a house meeting. I had said it wasn't a good idea, she basically said it was happening anyway.

what were you thinking and feeling?

angry, anticipating criticism, feeling weak, powerless, stupid, hungry, fat


why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?

well my housemate asking for a housemeeting, then ignoring my opinion that it would be a bad idea, and the fact that one of my best friends has recently moved to Canada and i miss him like crazy, especially as we fell out before he left.

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.

I could have gone home to see my parents, or left the house for the day

were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?

irregular sleeping patterns, a doctor's appointment, and not doing enough during the day.


what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?

I tried talking to my boyfriend online and cleaning my room and playing a computer game.

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?

exercise, leaving the house, going to see my parents, seeing a friend

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.

a note on the wall, or maybe a reminder in the drawer i keep my razor


how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?

i dont feel resolved. I will keep busy, pack my bag to go home,make sure i exercise at home

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?

yes. When i start to feel tense and needy and angry

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.

a hot bath
painting
a long walk



About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.



What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?

i knew it would work, and work quickly, and spur me out of bed

Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?

i made an opportunity, locking my door, gettign out the plasters and razors


What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?

i would have gone to bed, or listened to loud music, or punched my thigh


If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?

increased

What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?

the right feeling and having fresh razors


If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?

hairy

#

[Smeagol]

Hi

I really notice you say you felt powerless (and quite rightly, being ignored like that). Is there stuff you could do to exert power, to assert that you matter and you are in control even if she ignores you? Going out is onet hing, but I wondered whether it would help to explicitly assert that somehow?

Also, have you read http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php? ... hlight=fat? It occurred to me when you said you felt fat and hungry when she ignored what you said.