I need help. Support. Something.
I have been SI free since August 20th. Recently, as in, the past few weeks, the urges to cut have been coming on strong. It has gotten to the point where I think about SIing all day. It is starting to get in the way. It occupies every part of my mind.
I have worked through some of the questions. I do my best to comfort myself, because I am feeling in extreme need of comfort. I put on my soft fleece PJ pants when I get home from work, I grab a hot drink or my favorite soda, I settle down with my knitting (a source of meditation for me) and my fluffy, long-haired cat. Sometimes I put on a DVD of my favorite TV show.
The reason I think I may be feeling this way is because my New Year's resolution is to stop drinking. I have been sober for 17 days. But without alcohol to drown my feelings, the urge to SI gets worse and worse. I don't want to become an "after" again.
What can I do? Anyone? I don't know if I can hold out much longer, but I sure am trying...
Love,
Stevie
Before... please help
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StevieLynn
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Before... please help
In Which Something Oooh Occurred
And it felt like a winter machine that you go through and then you catch your breath and winter starts again, and everyone else was springbound. And when I chose to live, there was no joy, it's just a line I crossed. I wasn't worth the pain my death would cost, so I was not lost or found....But when you live in a world, well, it gets in to who you th ought you'd be. And now I laugh at how the world changed me. I think life chose me after all.
--Dar Williams
And it felt like a winter machine that you go through and then you catch your breath and winter starts again, and everyone else was springbound. And when I chose to live, there was no joy, it's just a line I crossed. I wasn't worth the pain my death would cost, so I was not lost or found....But when you live in a world, well, it gets in to who you th ought you'd be. And now I laugh at how the world changed me. I think life chose me after all.
--Dar Williams
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littlethings
- forum moderator emeritus
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- Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2004 3:47 am
- Location: New York
That's almost five months si free, and that's something to really be proud of.
It sounds like you're doing a great job distracting yourself and finding other healthy things to do. I know the amount of knitted goods I produced went up dramatically after I got serious about stopping si
I think you're probably right that alcohol or lack thereof is the reason why si is sounding so appealing right now. But it's also another thing to be proud of. Months without si and almost a month sober. Beating down *two* unhealthy coping methods at once. I'd tip my hat to you if I were wearing one!
And probably the coolest thing about your post was the number of activities or sub-activities you mentioned using as an alternative. You've created a little healthy ritual of comfort which is just very, very cool. So good on you.
It sounds like you're doing a great job distracting yourself and finding other healthy things to do. I know the amount of knitted goods I produced went up dramatically after I got serious about stopping si
I think you're probably right that alcohol or lack thereof is the reason why si is sounding so appealing right now. But it's also another thing to be proud of. Months without si and almost a month sober. Beating down *two* unhealthy coping methods at once. I'd tip my hat to you if I were wearing one!
And probably the coolest thing about your post was the number of activities or sub-activities you mentioned using as an alternative. You've created a little healthy ritual of comfort which is just very, very cool. So good on you.
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