after

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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silvertears
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after

Post by silvertears » Fri Jun 02, 2006 4:44 am

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait. They are fine . I don't really care if they are taken care of


what had happened just before? I was talking to a friend from a job I was just fired from. Then at tv show about SA.


what were you thinking and feeling? How stupid I was to be foolish today and think that life will get better b/c I know that it won't. Life just doen't work for me. How I imagem that people in my life are getting pritty sick of hearing me wine.. i even am. If I'm gonna do it just go ahead and do it.


why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it? Feeling of being used. ashamed. I know ist a small thing but when I mentioned somthing about my SA experiance the person didn't make much of a comment . I know the real truth, but I can't help but to think that maybe I was rigt and the hole thing is my fault.


how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw. I was sitting on my bed and I made the decsion. One more for my stupidy.. I'm just a loser.... I'm ashamed of how I am handleing the SA situation... I'm weak and want to just give in to my feelings.


were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how? no... depression with out treatment... no heaslth care???!!!


what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work? smoking witch I should be quiting also... I'm so fing stupid...


in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they? writting..


name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again. it was a choice I don't need to be reminded.. I knew what I was doing and chose top do it.


how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?

NO not solved my life still sucks.. maybe I should have SIed so then i woudln't ahve more guilt!!
are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation? YES... welcome to my life..


what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying. write , call someone, remember this situation.



About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.



What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?

I was alon and its at night. I have been having a hard time at night.
Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?

life kinda happens.
What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?recnized it as satan


If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
decreased..

What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling? giving in to my depression.. or what ever you want to call my moods..


If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?

like living again

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balletomane
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Post by balletomane » Fri Jun 02, 2006 5:30 am

Hi Silvertears.

It sounds like you are having a really rough time right now.
have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait. They are fine . I don't really care if they are taken care of
I do hope you'll keep safe.
why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it? Feeling of being used. ashamed. I know ist a small thing but when I mentioned somthing about my SA experiance the person didn't make much of a comment . I know the real truth, but I can't help but to think that maybe I was rigt and the hole thing is my fault.
If you were sexually abused, that is not your fault.

It is good that you worked through this questions.

You mentioned that feelings about the SA situation played a role. You mentioned feeling ashamed and feeling like you had been used. What have you been doing to try to deal with these feelings and come to terms with what happened? You mentioned writing as a coping strategy. That sounds like a good idea.

What do you get out of SI? What specific function does it serve for you?

Working through depression, and dealing with the effects of SA is difficult. What sort of a support system do you have in place? How can you make effective use of that support system in the future? (For example, you mentioned calling someone)

I know that things are really hard right now. But you posted here, which shows that you are trying to make things better.

Take care. :star:

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