Honouring the self-protective instinct

[Smeagol]

I've noticed a couple of people have had problems answering "How can I best honour the self-protective instinct which makes me want to si?"

If you're struggling with that you might find it helpful to read the following. It was original written by sine nomine in http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=16507.

sometimes it seems like self-harm is a way of trying to hold things together when you're overwhelmed, a way of toning things down enough that you can survive a wave of feeling (or not-feeling). it's essentially an adaptive response -- you are trying to keep yourself whole even if it means taking your body to pieces.

most people, when they get an urge to si, try to get rid of it as fast as they can. they either go ahead and hurt themselves and resolve it that way or they distract themselves or white-knuckle through it. what if you stopped and listened, though?

some people start popping zinc and vitamin c at the least sniffle cause they recognize the message "a cold may be coming." what if you welcomed an urge as a message from your self that something needs attending to?

you could start by acknowledging that it's there and real and valid. accept the urge, and accept that the choice of acting on it is yours, even if it doesn't seem that way.

then maybe you coudl try to figure out what message it holds. what was happening when it started? what were you doing, feeling, thinking? this is hard, because if something is so threatening or scary that you want to hurt yourself over it. it takes courage to look it in the eye, but armed with your knowledge that your self is doing its best to help you and protect you, you can look at what's happening.

once you know where it came from (not necessarily where it came from in your deep personal history, but where it came from *right now* in your immediate present), you've got power. instead of just "i want to hurt myself," it's "i want to hurt myself because..." and that "because" gives you a lot of leverage.

The questions in "before" are designed to help you think about the messages your urges are sending you. Honouring the self-protective instinct is about responding to those urges in more healthy ways, once you understand them.