before

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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treasure
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before

Post by treasure » Sat Apr 08, 2006 2:20 am

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
i will not be anxious. i will feel better about not doing uni work. i might leave uni and feel better at home.

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
will make things simpler. will reassure me that i don't need to be perfect. i don't know what it will do exactly :-?

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
in the long run, i don't know if i want to stop. i guess i do want to si less. si-ing now would take me further from wanting to si less, further from caring for myself...

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
its a problem that i will probably keep thinking about even if i do si. the relief might last only a half hour or up to a few hrs. i will probably leave uni (if i'm still here) and at home, read and comfort-eat. no healthy options :oops:

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
i could walk around a bit. i could read uni notes to possibly help me understand the work. i don't know how to change the situation. i guess its more important that i change my *reaction* to the situation, so maybe i should write out what negative things i should try and fight... whatever works will hopefully last til this afternoon and then i'll try and stay distracted.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
if i si, i'll feel proud but also slightly ashamed. if i do other stuff before i si i guess it means i tried. if i don't si at all, then i'll feel more proud of myself, i'll be able to talk to my T about fighting rather than about giving in.

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i want to not have uni stuff, i suppose i can leave this assignment and start a more important one that may actually be easier. i think the urge to si is telling me i'm anxious and frustrated. i guess doing something easier might help with that.

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

plantt
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Post by plantt » Sat Apr 08, 2006 3:26 am

what if i reassure you that you don't have to be perfect? because you don't you know :)

si-ing now would take me further from wanting to si less, further from caring for myself...
--*definitely* veryvery right.

read and comfort-eat. no healthy options
--sounds rather like my justifications :tongue: those aren't the only options. read. good. eat.. & limit it. then check out other things.

i guess its more important that i change my *reaction* to the situation
--*nods* that's often the case

i suppose i can leave this assignment and start a more important one that may actually be easier.
--*nods* sometimes leaving it for a bit to either do something easier or something totally different helps me....

hang in there :)

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treasure
forum moderator - workshop & before & after
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Post by treasure » Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:12 am

talking to someone on BUS and playing games relaxed me and lifted my mood. the assignment i was supposed to do doesn't matter so much and my next assignment is still 2wks away. less stress and less likely to si.

plantt - thanks :)
treasure
virtual hugs welcome.
shiny place or old place

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