I blew 10 1/2 month SI free

[Wendy]

Have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.

Yes

What had happened just before?

I handled a situation with my daughter defying me very badly.


What were you thinking and feeling?

I was feeling frustrated, angry and was probably looking for an excuse anyway.

Why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?

I was disgusted with myself already and my response to my daughter was my final straw.

How did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I guess more consistent discipline with my daughter rather than letting my frustration and her defiant behavior build up.


Were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
Yeah, I was off my meds trying a drug holiday to see how I did without them.

What other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?

Didn't try anything this time.

In retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?

Calling a friend to talk about my frustrations and feelings; getting some exercise; journaling; prayer

Name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.

Make and post a list; start doing this things regularly in a preventative fashion and develop a habit

How do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
No it's not resolved. I'm going to talk to my counselor; do some reading on behavioral techniques to implement; pray about it; and probably start back on my meds.


Are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?

Afraid so. I'll work on journaling about my thoughts so that I'll have the opportunity to notice the negative thoughts creeping in before they build up. Even before the final trigger I was wanting to cut although things had been going pretty good. I'm less sure what to do when it's just a want to rather than a need to.

What will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.

Journaling, prayer, exercise

[ChaseThisLight]

It sounds like you have some really good ways lined up to cope. Exercise is a great one so is journaling. (And prayer is one of my favorites) Dealing with problem family members is a huge trigger for me (I have the opposite problem though...I'm the daughter dealing with the mother) It's probably the most frusterating situation because it's family and you can't remove yourself from the trigger. My thoughts for you are to get on top with the coping mechanisms...they'll get you through it. Take care.

notmardy

[Wendy]

Thanks Notmardy,

I'm still all urgy -- very frustrating. I just did enough to feel stupid and blow my time but not enough to relieve anything.

Wendy

[beachgirl]

Hi Wendy - I can relate since I relapsed about a week before my six months anniversary. And, it was more a "want" rather than a need for me too. Yes, things were hard but I could probably have found better ways to cope. I found it helped to just allow the desire rather than fight it too hard. That seemed to help it lose the attraction and power so that it was easier to stop the SI again.

I hope things are better soon. Ten and a half months is amazing, no matter what has occurred in the last few days.

(((Hugs)))
Susie

[Wendy]

Thanks! I'm doing a lot better now!

Hugs,
Wendy