after

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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silvertears
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after

Post by silvertears » Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:31 pm

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait. Its fine


what had happened just before? I was feeling so much pain inside and could express myslef in words, I also had to act liek everythingw as ok b/c my parents were comming home. after step 4 in cr


what were you thinking and feeling? I was very angry, I had had enough of this pain, I was tired of not sleeping and I felt crazy.


why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it? I was sitting inmy car and trying to just breath, and not cry. I don't know, it was just too strong or an urge to burn myslef. quick and fast, no mess. Just enough to go on with life. I figured that since it was burning It wasn't as bad as a offence.


how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw. I really don't knwo b.c I can't get the pain iside to go away, and I truly don't knwo the cause of teh pain.


were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
I am sick, I was tired.

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work? I tryed to go to cr.


in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they? read the life.. bible


name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.


how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
i was one day away from 30 days free. so yah i suck.. I HATE ME!!!!!!!!!!


are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation? yes, of course i wil be, no clue


what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying. try to talk more... cry...... some safe si measue

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balletomane
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Post by balletomane » Sun Sep 25, 2005 12:40 am

you do not suck. it sounds like you wer ein a lot of pain, and I think it is a positive thing that you are trying to work through that. Are there other distractions that you can try? How about finding moving Bible passages and posting them places where you can see them? Maybe that will help you find some small comfort next time you are feeling like this.

Be gentle with yourself. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. :star:

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pandablue
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Post by pandablue » Sun Sep 25, 2005 2:51 am

The 4th step is one of the hardest ones.
Do you have a sponsor? Are you keeping it balanced? Need to move on to the 5th as soon as possible at least I found that helpful for me. And looking up all the forgiveness verses I could. Also making sure the 3rd step is real solid. I had to go back to it about five times before I could face my 4th. Still haven't done the fearless part of it. So good on you for getting it done.
Hope I haven't said too much. I'm proud of you for the 29 days that's a great accomplishment any time.
I could hardly make it a day while doing my 4th.

Like Balletomane said You don't suck
you've been doing some real hard work!


Panda

Feb 22,2006

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