i really want to cut. i've been going so well lately except for yesterday when i cut deeply on my hand, but it's like i'm an alcoholic thats got a taste for vodka. i need to do it.
how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? i will get a releif and feel better about myself
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? it will bring satisfaction to me and take away the powerful urges
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way? i will regret another scar- especially if i do it on my hands or legs, and obviously cutting is only going to make that worse
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then? the relief will only be temporary- this i know because i only cut yesterday and already i'm feeling like this, so obviously not long
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then? i honestly can't think of anything that will change the situation...
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with? i will feel satisfaction knowing that i hurt myself but this will also be mingled with regret
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now? i really want to cut. bottom line. i can honour the protective instinct by not cutting but right now i feel pretty helpless. please, can you help me. i feel so small
