Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
My mom is controlling my every move, and making life utterly miserable for me. I feel like hurting myself because I know nothing better to do to gain control over my life.
Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
Yes, I have been here before, but it only lasted a couple of days. This time has lasted nearly a week, so far. When I was here before, I had the benefit of school during the day, so I could get away from her for a little while. I don't have that this time. Then, I felt like she was taking away everything that I had (typical teenager stuff).
What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I have called my best friend and gone outside to write in my journal. Other things that I can do are..... I don't know anything else other than hurting myself.
How do I feel right now?
Right now I feel as if all control has been taken away from me, and I have issues with that.
How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
calmer, and more in control
How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
I would feel that I have control over something.
Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
Can't avoid it. Don't know how to deal with it better.
Do I need to hurt myself?
Right now, yes.
Emily
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- scarlit_sky
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- VowsOfSadness
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Just wanted to let you know that I am here and listening. If you can get yourself away from any "tools" I know that is helpful for me. If you feel it is your mom and her actions that are triggering you then try getting out auctually visiting a friends or staying over someones house.
*Challenges welcome*
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- scarlit_sky
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I'm not allowed to go anywhere right now. That's one of the ways she is controlling me.
Emily
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- balletomane
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Sorry this is rather late. i'm sorry to hear that your mother is controlling you so much.
What else can you do to restore your sense of control? sometimes doing something really constructive or disciplined makes me feel more in control. do you have some goal that you can take measured steps toward accomplishing? this might not help when the urge to SI is really overwhelming, but it might help to generally restore your feeling of control. You might even consider finding something to control. You could start a blog or website where you write opinion articles, post artwork, etc.
but with regards to SI, how does resisting an urge make you feel? do you feel any sense of control in resistance? not injuring shows control. can you try to feel that sense of control?
What else can you do to restore your sense of control? sometimes doing something really constructive or disciplined makes me feel more in control. do you have some goal that you can take measured steps toward accomplishing? this might not help when the urge to SI is really overwhelming, but it might help to generally restore your feeling of control. You might even consider finding something to control. You could start a blog or website where you write opinion articles, post artwork, etc.
but with regards to SI, how does resisting an urge make you feel? do you feel any sense of control in resistance? not injuring shows control. can you try to feel that sense of control?
- scarlit_sky
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I have a website, that I have been working on in my time at the house. It has helped to some extent. But I still want to hurt myself.
Emily
Emily
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"Anyone can hit bottom--but can you bounce back up?"
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<a href="http://scarlit-sky.livejournal.com/">Reflection of a Hidden Heart</a> (my CURRENT blog)
"Anyone can hit bottom--but can you bounce back up?"
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