Before (feedback welcome)

[NobodyToYou]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I don't know exactly. Maybe I will feel something. Right now I feel dead and I can't get anything done. I want to be able to focus and...I don't know. I don't really want to feel, but I don't like this either. I hate feeling this detached and pointless.

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It will bring pain, but probably relief...I will feel more normal, maybe? I don't know. I am not really having urges like I usually do, but I am feeling like I have to do something to shake off the lethargy. I feel like I could go to sleep and never get up again. Even trying to type this, I find myself staring off into space a lot more than typing.

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I don't know. I just want to feel different. I will probably feel guilty later if I hurt myself, but I might not. I don't know...feelings seem so far away right now. Normally I would like this, I don't know why it is bothering me now.

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
Not long...maybe long enough for me to go to sleep. Tomorrow may be worse, but probably will be about the same.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could keep doing nothing (playing computer, watching tv) but it won't really change anything. I could try to just tolerate feeling like this for the rest of the evening and hope that when I wake up I will feel different. I don't even know if SI would change the situation...I have been feeling "not here" most of the day, although it is probably not severe enough to be depersonalization. I don't like this. I am a little afraid to SI because I don't like where I am now, but there are a lot of feelings that I have been avoiding and I don't want them to come up either.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I will feel bad for hurting myself one more time, but I am pretty used to that. If I wait...I don't know. I hope I would feel different. But I am afraid I won't. Or even worse, I will start to feel again and it will be horrible.

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I don't know. I guess just try to go to bed. I hope I can sleep...I need to do something now to fill some time, cause I am not tired enough yet. I need to study, but I just can't focus...

[Wandering]

Hello

Hope you're feeling a bit better. I just wondered, do you know why you're feeling like this? Is there something, some event that set it off, or not? Its possibly because you don't want to deal with the painful emotions, you're just blocking everything out, so hence are feeling nothing. Maybe you do need to deal with the emotions somehow, instead of ignoring them.

I don't really have any bright ideas about how you can do that, or indeed if you want to, but it might stop you feeling 'dead'

Take care

Andi