AFTER Post - Would have been 2 weeks SI free

[sadgirl2]

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[Tiarin]

I asked a stupid, stupid question at work. My boss moved me to a new office to help them, telling them I'm so great when I'm not. I'm sure they probably see it. I'm so stupid sometimes!

that does sound like a miserable situation. i know it's easy to say there's no such thing as a stupid question, but i can very much relate to your feelings. (as a grad student, i feel like i'm expected to know certain things, and it's always rather humiliating to reveal it when i don't! i'm always waiting for them to ask me what i think i'm even doing in this program. )

honestly, though, what would you think of someone else who had asked the same question? i often find myself admiring the people who have the courage to ask about the simple things (and it frequently turns out that they aren't the only ones who are confused!)

Thats all I did. I copped out and punished myself.

again, i can very much relate. something i keep trying to remind myself is that self-punishment, beating myself up mentally and physically, doesn't actually accomplish anything in terms of preventing me from being stupid again in the future. i think sometimes i have the idea that it will, like i can beat it out of myself— but if i yelled at my friends or hurt them every time they made a mistake, i don't think they would be any less mistake-prone. sometimes it helps to think in that framework, because it at least suggests the possibility that being gentle with myself could be a more effective response in the long term.

i'm sorry things have been hard. i hope you're doing okay.

dragonfly

[sadgirl2]

What's really stupid about this whole thing is they didn't treat it as a stupid question and came back with a good reply. I hurt myself for nothing...Not the first time this has happened. I need to remember that.

Good & Bad I did such a good job of SI'ing that it's still healing and I have not SI'd since.

Thanks Dragonfly for your input - it's always welcome.