i'll give it a go

[theodore]

1.how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

it may go away, i don't know

2.what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

It will bring me back to reality, it will bring blood, and in turn a scar,it will make this feeling feel real

3.how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

it'll probably bring me closer in feeling this way, but all my pain will be focused when/if i do self harm.i want to be normal, but not at any cost

4.if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

it will last for around 9 seconds, but it will make me feel good for a few minutes..what will i do then?? well i'll go back to normal, but will have 'something'

5.what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

i AM talking to my girl, and on the net..but still thinking about hurting myself...when i come off the net i'm pretty sure i am going to do it.


6.how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

if i hurt myself, i'll be hurting, physically and emotionally...but i'll have to wound to show. if i didn't cut, then i'd probably have to go through this again.

7.what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now

what do i REALLY want to do?? i want to walk away and not cut!! but on the other side i REALLY want to cut and believe it will do good.


oh i dunno!!

[littlethings]

It sounds like you are very confused.

Have you decided if you want to give up self-injury?
I know when I was going back and forth between deciding to give it up and thinking "well, it works..." it was very hard to deal with urges.

I'm also unclear- do you dissociate at all? Because you keep talking about making the feeling real. If you do, perhaps there are other things you could try before cutting that will ground you.

You say you think you are probably going to hurt yourself. If you have, I encourage you to take a look at the 'after' questions. They've helped me sort things out quite a bit in the past.

JoAnna