Children & SI

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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dbms
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Children & SI

Post by dbms » Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:28 am

I've two young boys 6 and 8. They are a joy and mostly keep me grounded in reality - something I'm extremely thankful for. Perhaps it the fact I self harm but fro some reason I have a difficult time coping when I see one of the kids hit themselves. I remember as a kid tapping my head with a ruler, a pencil whatever happened to be at hand. It seems to be a kid thing.

I don't want to over-react and make something out of nothing but I also don't want to ignore a behavior that may develop into something I know far too much about from first hand experience.

Anyone else have this experience and how do you deal with it?
Mark
I looked for a person who most needed my kindness today and somehow found myself.

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mallie
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Post by mallie » Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:42 am

I don't have any experiences with children but I have a couple of thoughts.

I can understand why it unsettles you, but I think you're probably right about it being a bit of a kid thing, and unless you're seeing them hit themselves when they're upset or angry, it probably is harmless.

Rather than worrying about what might develop, are you able to actively try and teach your children healthy coping mechanisms?

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Licentia Poetica
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Post by Licentia Poetica » Sat Apr 29, 2006 10:08 am

I think Mallie is right, a child who knows healthy coping mechanisms & is generally happy within themselves, is not going to turn to those behaviours.

I SI'd even as a little child in the form of scratching & picking at my legs, mosquito bites or whatnot. However, it was extreme & I still have scarring. I even ended up with near scepticemia in hospital once. I would've hoped that my mother could have picked up on it at that point, but she didnt, and a year later I picked up a razor blade.

However, I don't think you should freak out, you probably are a little sensitive to the matter through your own experience with it & your love for you kids. But like any good parent, keep looking for signs of illness whether it be SI in relation to a stressful event, or a high fever.

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dbms
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Post by dbms » Sat Apr 29, 2006 5:45 pm

Thanks both of you I don't see this behavior in relation to stress with them. More I'm sure it's just being kids. You're probably correct that my own experience has made me sensitive.

It is that experience that I don't want fro my childen. I also don't want to turn something innocent for them into an issue and perhaps create the very problem I hope they will avoid.

I rely on the fact that they will not have the same childhood experience I had so the chances of developing SI as a coping method is much differnt that my own. Take care..
Mark
I looked for a person who most needed my kindness today and somehow found myself.

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