Newbie here, first time seriously trying to stop

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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teacupfaery
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Newbie here, first time seriously trying to stop

Post by teacupfaery » Sun Feb 05, 2006 2:30 am

Hi, my name is Jane, I'm 21 and si has been part of my life for the last 10 years or so. I've tried to stop so many times for my boyfriends benefit, but this is the first time my hearts been in it.

Said boyfriend and I broke up several monthes ago, but we still live together and are best friends. He is the only person who knows I do this, but I feel I ask too much of him as he also has problems with anxiety and depression. Which is why I've started to post here :)

I've never actually used tools, I scatch and pick, so my first problem with stopping is I can't physically prevent it and temptation usually wins. I would like to hear from others who do/have done similar.

I also have major issues with jealousy. My friend had a girlfriend for a couple of monthes, and I wouldn't leave them alone. I cried when he spoke to her on the phone. He assures me hes my best friend and they weren't meant to be anyway, but I do feel bad. And now its happening again as about a week ago he made a good friend online. They chat on msn and by phone a lot. She has an eating disorder, and yet I feel jealous that shes prettier than me. I feel so bad when I know hes talking to her.

At my rational moments I feel so so bad about my jealousy. I know I have the best friend anyone could ask for and that I'm being unfair.

Ok, enough rambeling. Feel free to comment or let me know if this isn't the right place to post. I'm new to this :oops:

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PurplePixie
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Post by PurplePixie » Sun Feb 05, 2006 6:57 pm

try some of these to help you move your focus from cutting

Anger/ frustration
Trying screaming/ crying/ hugging someone.
Try having a cold shower.
Try biting on something like a lemon to give you a sharp sensation.
Try exercising, going for a walk/ run.
Try hitting something not alive, for example a pillow or punch bag. Perhaps talking to the object you are hitting, explaining what's wrong.
Try making a soft cloth doll, rip/cut it up to represent how you feel instead of doing it to yourself.
Try listening to loud/ angry music, dance/ sing along.
Try dropping ice into a bath or throwing it against a wall so it shatters, or hit a tree with a stick. You could also slash up a plastic bottle, flatten cans for recycling.
Try making clay models to smash.
Try squeezing silly putty then stretching it until it snaps.
Try talking to someone.

Low self esteem
Try pampering yourself - whatever makes you feel taken care of/comforted. For example having a bath, listening to soothing music, burning incense, making a tray of 'treats' then watching t.v. or reading, getting a haircut or buying a happy meal.
Try phoning or visiting a friend, talk, hug or do something together.
Try crying.
Try soothing body lotion on the areas you want to harm.
Try being creative, making play dough models or a collage, writing or painting.
Try thinking of not harming as punishment if you feel you need to be punished.
Try listing the good things about yourself.

Disassociation
Try squeezing ice or putting a hand in a mixture of water, salt and ice for a few seconds.
Try putting a rubber band around a wrist then pinging it when you need to.
Try taking a cold/hot shower.
Try biting into something like a lemon or a hot pepper.
Try doing something creative like making a collage, write poetry, bake or paint.
Try to focus on breathing.
Try to play taxing games like tetris, minesweeper or snake.
Try choosing an object in the room and describing it as you would to a blind person - its size, weight, colour etc.
Try scribbling on paper.
Try being around people, perhaps playing games with a younger sibling, hugging someone or helping someone else.
Try opening the dictionary in random places and learning new words, also try thinking in another language as you may have to simplify your thoughts.
Try creating a mental 'safe place'.

Control and focus
Try squeezing ice.
Try putting a rubber band around a wrist then pinging it when you need to.
Try taking a cold/hot shower.
Try biting into something like a lemon.
Try to focus energy into something positive like exercise, sport or noticing how you breathe.
Try ripping or crumpling paper, could collage the ripped pieces or scribble on them.
Try doing something creative like making play dough models.
Try screaming, breaking sticks, punching pillows.
Try getting out of the house, going to talk to a friend or getting a haircut.
Try solving a puzzle, playing solitare, tetris, minesweeper or snake.
Try setting a target time, for example saying you can harm in 15 minutes, then if you can last, going another 15 minutes.
Try cleaning.
Try thinking in another language.
Try learning something new.

Self nurture
Try taking a hot shower.
Try exercising or going for a walk.
Try drawing on yourself with red pen or paint or dropping red food colouring on the areas you would normally harm.
Try using henna tattoo paste to draw on yourself.
Try creating a mental 'safe place'.
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