am i insane? sp mentions su and si

[collide]

sp mentions su and si










last nite i was very upset, depressed, angry, suicidal...even was about to write my suicide note...then other stuff...but then i couldn't cuz i was in a mess at school- suspended for calling 911 twice about being suicidal, though the second was not really suicidal just kindof...anyways, i was still so upset that i screwed my future in grad school...and wanted to die but i didn't do anything...i just cut myself...then i don't know what the hell i was doing but i started burning condoms..but they wouldn't really burn...(just two)...so i started burning a paper...and it did burn...and i poured water on it so it wouldn't make my place on fire....also i wanted to throw things in a fit of rage and anxiety

collide

[katja]

your not insane, fire can be very theraputic. Top tip though, the next time you feel suicidal call a helpline, not 911. Sometimes writing suicide notes can be helpfull in expressing yourself.

[ArchyOpteryx]

hi collide

i don't think you're "insane"
at least not any more than the rest of us
it sounds like you are just feeling like
"help
someone please help
i am not equipped to handle this life
nobody taught me how to handle people and emotions and all this is just too much for me and nobody is here to help me and i can't do it on my own and oh my god help help help somebody help me please aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ggggggggggggggggggggggggg hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

and i know i've been there before
and it really sucks
and i end up crying cutting dissociating losing memory crashing my car hurting those i love getting a really bad haircut whatever

so shit

that really sucks

sorry

and so far only my therapist has been able to help me with all that shit
and it took a hell of a long time before i trusted her with anything really important
and then i had an emotion
and she helped me
and


and i do not know what "sp" is
and you're in therapy, right?
and probably when you feel better it won't seem so hopeless
and
sorry

and

hi collide.

arch.

[ghoulie13]

your not insane

i am.....