everything's building up inside

[everythingends666]

a friend of mine revealed to me that she gave her crush a blow job and that she feels that she will be losing her virginity to him..shes only 14 and i dont want her doing anything she will regret later. i feel disapointed in her and i didnt talk to her today not because im mad at her but because i feel like i need a break and i was trying to see if that was the break i needed but later on i decided that it wasnt fair to her to be "mad" at her so im going to start talking to her i guess..but now i dont no wat to do about it because i feel everything building up inside again and i know im going to need to cut soon. its depressing for me because i thought i had really quit..for real this time but by cutting i'd be letting myself and my friends down..i feel that i have 2 choices: i can see the school counselor..which i've been thinking about doing but im too scared..or cut..and i know that im not scared to cut

[strmdncr]

I'm sorry to hear that things are going on with you right now that are leaving you feel like you have to do something you don't want to do, or face a fear. That sounds like a very difficult place to be in. You also mentioned being concerned for your friend. Is there some way you can talk with her and let her know of your thoughts about the choice she's talking about? Best of luck with both things.

[HakunaMatata]

I can only really echo strmdncr here. Perhaps you can talk to your friend- help her and support her, as she must be having a difficult time to- in a different way to you tho'. Also if you explain you weren't mad at her- just needing a little break (you needn't mention about cutting), I'm sure she would understand. Perhaps by talking with her, you will feel happier to? I'm sorry to hear things are tough- if you ever need to talk, I'm sure we're al here to listen. Em x.