Right now i feel....*su si ed probably everything* replys ok

[gin and kerosene]

Right now i feel like there is no reason to even live. This is not living this is being alive. I hate it, everything about it.

Cant even go out with a group of people without freaking out about looking perfect being perfect eating in front of them what she thinks what he thinks what everyone else but me thinks.

If this is living i would gladly die right this instant. I dont want it any of it. Take it all away.

I'd like to disappear into nothing-ness. Poof thin air.

i cut sometimes hoping i'll end up in the hospital so someone will care for me. it hasnt happened yet.

i wanna scream real lound but i cant make anything come out. no sounds no tears.

if this is living Id gladly die right now

[plantt]

maybe there's more to living than what you're experiencing at the moment.
you're not dead yet.
you mention wanting to be taken care of... i know many people here who can relate to feeling that way. what are some things you could do to feel like you're taking care of yourself? if you can't come up with any it might be something to ask here
what's making life so intolerable right now? what are some things you're doing in order to change life?
sorry things are feeling so badly for you. it sucks when life seems so pointless & hurts so much

[Licentia Poetica]

I can understand how you're feeling. I feel that things are pointless quite often.

Being suicidal on a daily basis makes it really difficult to realise the times we have when we don't feel so bad. But it's true, although you may feel like things are pointless most of the time, there have to be times when things feel less pointless. Try to write something down about how you feel when you feel okay, so you remember it.

You want someone to care for you because you want to be leading a better life, you want help. That's an okay thing to want. How else can you get help? Is there someone you can go see? Friends? Relatives? A therapist? You don't need to injure yourself to make people take notice.

You're in pain and you want relief from that. The answer to that is not suicide. You feel bad, that means you are alive. You may feel good again, you may see friends, you may get help, you may write a novel, you may invent a cure for some disease, or you may not do any of these things. But you have the choice. You are alive, you still CAN. Suicide doesn't give you any more choices. You will never get to hug a friend, voice an opinion, tell a joke, feel better, you will never feel the relief you desperately want.

[Sky]

:: (only if ok)

I totally agree with the two above me: wanting to be cared for is completely human, and sometimes we all feel that way, but there are better ways than hurting yourself. Sometimes when we just reach out to the people around us, they end up taking care of us too. A hug is one of those things that people don't usually refuse to give back. It's a reaction, probably because of the human need to feel loved and secure. You'll find that if you take a small step toward feeling better, others around you will notice that and help you along.

-Leah.