Comfort *SU*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Chessie
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Comfort *SU*

Post by Chessie » Sat Jun 18, 2005 6:23 am

I'm feeling SU and really need comfort. I respond mostly to touch, but I've got no one in my family who really gives hugs or who would sit and hold me.

I have I special pillow that is filled with rice and heats up and is comforting, but what else can I use? (I've already taken a shower and fixed my hair. )

-c.
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Post by Oblivion » Sat Jun 18, 2005 6:30 am

spray some of your favourite perfume on your quilt then wrap yourself in it. Even over your head if you dont mind that. I find playing mellow music helps too. Take care
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Post by arianwen1174 » Sat Jun 18, 2005 8:36 am

Do you have a stuffed animal that is comforting to you? When I really need comfort my two favorite things are a soft fleece blanket and my teddy bear. Sometimes this makes all the difference in the world.
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Post by NobodyToYou » Sat Jun 18, 2005 8:25 pm

sometimes I wrap up as tight as a I can in a towel or blanket...if you use your imagination, it is almost like a hug. Or I pet things...the sheets, a stuffed animal, a favorite quilt, my pillow, the carpet. Anything with texture. It also helps keep me grounded, but i don't know if you need that right now.
I hope things get better. I am sorry you are feeling so bad.
Lots of hugs.

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Post by Chessie » Mon Jun 20, 2005 6:26 am

I need to get a blanket that really is mine. All the ones we have don't really belong to me...

I have a favorite stuffed animal...but my mom put my doll at the top of my closet and I can't reach it now. And I want my doll very badly as she's a major comfort object....it's like it's been put just out of my reach. Sometimes I stand on the stool in my closet trying to reach her, just crying, and I'll try for hours at a time....

I can't have any nice smelling lotions or anything because my sister is ALWAYS allergic to them.

So what do I do now? I'm not in a good place and I have minimal comfort items....

-c.
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Post by mallie » Mon Jun 20, 2005 8:44 am

Could you ask someone else to get your doll down for you? I can understand your frustration at it being out of reach.

What about some kind of soft clothing? I have a favourite jumper which is really soft, and has a hood and a big pocket across the front which makes me feel snuggled and warm.

Have you ever thought about doing something crafty like knitting? you could even make something that would have that kind of tactile comfort associated with it.

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Clothing is a good idea...

Post by Tangwystl » Mon Jun 20, 2005 10:32 am

I had a favorite sweater that always comforted me...it was soft and fuzzy, and just about the only thing that I owned which was pink. I always wore it when I was sick or depressed because it gave me a comforting feeling.

Looking at pictures sometimes helps, too. I asked my best friend for one of her that I pull out when needed. Or a peaceful scene, or memories of a good time might help.

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Post by SouthernComfort » Mon Jun 20, 2005 11:20 am

Do you have a heating pad?

I wrap a favorite blanket of mine around one, and it make it all warm, then I hug it.... Or put it between the pillow case and the pillow and hug that. It works well.
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
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That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

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Post by Chessie » Mon Jun 20, 2005 8:42 pm

my rice pillow is much like a heating pad. It's just regular, dry rice. I put it in the microwave and heat it up and then I hug it to me. or I have cashmere liner for the hot watter bottle and I'll fill the bottle full of hot water (we have a thing on our kitchen sink that puts out boiling hot water, making it easy to fill the hot watter bottle in a hurry and then slip it in the liner.

I also have a beautiful baby doll I bought when I was going through a hard time when we were on a trip and I had left my stuffed animal at home. It became a major comfort object to me. My mom has put it at the top of my closet. I'm very short and even with the help of a stool I cannot reach it. I don't know how to explain to my mother that I need my doll and could she please get it down.

She knows I'm having a hard time. I had to go get her last night because I was really, really paranoid. She sat outside my room until I fell asleep.

But how do I go about asking her to get my doll back down?
-C.
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Post by NobodyToYou » Mon Jun 20, 2005 10:09 pm

have you tried climbing the doorframe? If you have a regular size door, often you can put your back against one side and your feet on the other side and work your way up...
Probably a more realistic thing is to ask your mom. Say something like..."I am having a hard time right now, and I think my doll would make me feel better. Can you please get it down for me? I cannot reach it. Thank you." Then don't discuss it anymore if you don't want to. Just keep repeating the same things...It would make me feel better, please get it for me. I expect she will be willing to do that if she was willing to sit by your door the other night.
I hope you can get it soon...I am sure that is very frustrating.

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Post by Chessie » Tue Jun 21, 2005 4:01 am

Asking was easiest. My mom got it down and was very understanding about my needing it right now.

Sometimes I feel silly at my age (21), carrying my doll around the house like I did as a child (I also have another doll tucked away upstairs that I want very badly...my said at some point she's going through all the junk upstairs and maybe then I can grab my other doll back)

But when I'm badly paranoid, to the point of not taking care of myself, I've found having to take care of my doll...you need to eat, thus I need to eat, you need to sleep thus I need to sleep, is enough to get me through the hard spot until I'm more level headed.

-C.
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Post by NobodyToYou » Tue Jun 21, 2005 4:33 am

I would not criticize anything that helps. And sometimes my stuffed animals help me, so you are not alone. Being childlike is ok...sometimes even good. Children can often enjoy life more than adults...maybe we all need to be a bit more childlike.

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